St Kaled's Parish Newsletter - Issue Seven

Hullo!!!!!!!

My word what a busy month!! I've been rushed off my casters and no mistake. My wife (Mrs Margaret Dalek - I promised her a mention!!!) and I have been awfully busy... but we wouldn't want it any other way I assure you!!!

The St Kaled's Fascist Club

I'd like to take this opportunity of reminding those parishioners who expressed a keen interest in joining the Fascist Club that it was a misprint and should've read St Kaled's FASHION Club. Some rather unpleasant opinions have been expressed in the Neutronic Arms and I wouldn't like anyone to think that such opinions are endorsed by myself or the parish council. I'm as keen to exterminate all inferior species as the next Dalek but all this nonsense with flags and lighted torches must stop at once.

The Sealed Knot Society

A big congratulations to the St Kaled's battle re-enactment club - The Sealed Knot - for their marvellous work of late. Watching these fine chaps in their coloured liveries battle it out as they did in the olden days brings a lump to my nutritional input tubes. Some of the members got a little bit overexcited and the police had to be called in (I still can't stop my car alarm!!!!) but a good time was had by (almost) all. Well done!!

The Great Pomona

Bless my soul!! Lewis Dalek - still stung from his failure to win the magic show - proved that he is indeed the best amateur magician in the parish with his marvellous levitation trick. There were gasps of surprise all around St Kaled's when he raised himself off the ground and appeared to hover up a flight of stairs!! I've been pestering him for weeks to tell me how it's done but he won't let me in on the secret!!! It's driving your vicar mad - mad I tell you!!!! I may have to slip Lewis a little of the communion wine to see if it loosens his tongue!!!

A Final Message From the Vicar

It's with a great deal of sadness that I report that this is the final newsletter I shall send out for a while. Don't worry though - we haven't cancelled it, merely postponed it indefinitely!!

Bless you my children

Nigel

Rev Nigel Dalek (M.Y.A.*)

(*Missing You Already!!)