St Kaled's Parish Newsletter - Issue Two

Hullo!!

Well, hasn't it been an exciting few weeks ladies and gentlemen ? In all my years as vicar of this parish I cannot remember a busier few weeks. 'The devil finds work for idle manipulator arms and gun sticks' as the Good Book says - well we're all so busy he'd have a job!!

The Amateur Dramatics Society

I was very pleased to see so many of our number turn out for the recent performance of the Am Dram Soc (as they like to be known). It was, perhaps, a little disappointing that we had to invite Mr Cushing from St Hammer's parish to play the lead role but those of us from St Kaled's did a splendid job. I would never have thought that a few bits of polystyrene and a bucket could be used so creatively. Both the vicaress and myself would like to send our congratulations to all involved. I hear word that a sequel might be on its way if local scribe Terry Dalek can be persuaded to put pen to paper!!

The Fancy Dress Party

What do you get if you take a group of fun loving parish members, a lot of disguises and a holiday camp on the planet Vulcan ? Answer - the St Kaled's fancy dress ball of course!! We were only too pleased to welcome The Reverend Troughton of the Church of Our Lady Flavia although his costume lacked the small moustache needed to be a truly convincing Chaplin. But who wants to be a Chaplin when you are already a vicar!!! David Dalek (of the Nutronic Arms public house) did an excellent impression of being a serrrrvant and as for Denise Dalek's impersonation of a cardboard cut out, words fail me. We are a genuinely talented parish and you should all give each other a pat on the back. Total raised £37 - well done!!!!!

The St Kaled's Historical Society Outing

The committee were discussing where they should visit when they happened, quite by chance, upon free tickets to visit Victorian England and Mr Maxtible's world famous Mirror Museum. This exhibit - the finest of its kind - received the hearty backing of the parish ladies!!! Only joking!!!! Mr Maxtible (whose beard is one of the Seven Hundred Wonders of the Galaxy) welcomed us with open arms and even offered us the services of his "close friend" Mr Waterfield's daughter Victoria. Oh how we enjoyed her stories of skirts and vicars (!!).

Changes in St Kaled's Committee

You may well have heard that the historical society returned from their visit to find the parish council divided on a number of issues. Despite rumours spread by Mr Whitaker, this does not mark the end of the parish council. I would suggest that Mr Whitaker concentrate his efforts on being a bit more diplomatic in the future!!

Well, I've run out of space yet again. I hope you all have a smashing week and I'll see you in church on Sunday morning.

Nigel

Rev Nigel Dalek (OBE)