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The Doctor Who Enjoyment Index (DWEI) takes a weekly* snapshot of what it is like to be one particular Doctor Who fan. Things that happen get a plus or minus score, those scores are totted up and a running total is kept. That’s it really. *Ok, so weekly might have been a bit optimistic for this bit of analytical fluff. |
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DWEI for the middle of March to the middle of June Welcome to another weekly helping of the Doctor Who Enjoyment Index. When I first borrowed this idea I thought the first few would be tricky to scrape together but once the New Series started it would be as easy as pi. But I got fat and lazy and forgot all about it. So it’s time to play a little catch up and see what is giving pluses and taking minuses in the life of a fat and lazy fan. Big Finish Back at the end of March I got a new car and she came with a CD player. Gone were the old days of cass-ette tapes and in came the era of Big Finish. Rather than simply pick what I wanted to listen to (because that would be both difficult and boring) I decided to listen to them in order. So in went Sirens of Time and at the time of writing I’m just starting Eye of the Scorpion. Some I knew I liked, others (such as Minuet in Hell, the Apocalypse Element and the Mutant Phase) I was not looking forward to. But astonishingly I’ve enjoyed every single one of them. There hasn’t been one which I’ve been glad to see the back of. It is a similar feeling to the one I got when I watched the Eccleston boxed set – back to back, with a gap since transmission and without unreasonable expectations I found them to be of a pretty even quality. There were CDs that I hadn’t heard in five or six years and while I’m unlikely to rush to listen to some of them again (probably not until I do the loop again) it has been a good first twenty three BFs. DWEI score +10 New Earth There was nothing particular wrong with it but I felt enormously disappointed by it. So much so that I wasn’t going to watch any more of them. It was only the problem of changing channel to record Confidential which made me reconsider. If I’d remembered it was repeated later in the week, who knows what might’ve happened? DWEI score -3 Tooth and Claw A return to form – some bits were there entirely because they would look good in the trailers (stand up ninja monks) but it was a fun and entertaining 45 minutes. Even if the ending was too drawn out. DWEI score +2 School Reunion A nice little nostalgia piece which established many of the rules of the New Series – (a) it is part of the old series, (b) human(oid) villains aren’t thought to be of any value so must play second fiddle to CGI monsters, (c) Mickey is the tin dog so must henceforth be considered lovable and (d) characters are important, plot is secondary, explosions are brilliant. It also gave us our very own "Elementary, my dear Watson" as future generations will believe that the Doctor, K9 and Sarah Jane travelled together in the olden days. DWEI score +1 The Girl in the Fireplace The execution of the time windows was the only thing which I didn’t like about this. It was another fun 45 minutes which had subtle significance (maybe) down the line. Rose had a good arse day, the weird plot had a vaguely logical pay off and everything looked good. Not essential but positive overall. DWEI score +1 Rise of the Cybermen This was the one I was most angry about. New Earth depressed me (though I doubt it was actually New Earth’s fault) but Rise of the Cybermen made me cross. Immediately after the episode I wrote,
And I think I still stand by all of that. DWEI score -3 The Age of Steel So the first part of this double was setting everything up and what it set up is not to my liking. But the second half was action and drama all the way and I thought it was excellent. Cybermen stomping all over the place, lots of running around, some genuinely moving moments, a Five Doctors reference and Mickey the Idiot gets to save the day. DWEI score +2 The Idiot’s Lantern More fun, albeit fun spoilt by a totally out of place domestic abuse subtext. Nothing was really explained but sometimes it doesn’t need to be. It would’ve been a marvellously charming little story were it not for the impression that Mr Connolly was going to beat the crap out of his wife as soon as the front door closed. DWEI score +1 The Impossible Planet My gut reaction when this episode was over was that it was the best episode of Doctor Who ever. I know a lot of online peeps say that every week – the sort that vote 5/5 every time, often not waiting until the opening titles have rolled before doing so. I don’t tend to do that – good episodes leave me fairly mellow, bad ones make me want to share my anger. It is very rare that I’m actively wow-ing. TIP was awesome. Whether it will remain awesome after subsequent viewings I don’t know but for 45 minutes and the hours after that I believed it was the best of the best. DWEI score +5 The Satan Pit I liked literally everything about it except the bit where the Doctor ran down a random tunnel and happened to bump straight into the Tardis. The pan up was nice and you can always explain it by saying that the Tardis chose to materialise there because that is where the Doctor would need her but it came across as just a little bit of a convenient escape. One that can be forgiven and explained away by a determined fan but to the casual viewer (if there were any on so warm and boozy a day) it must've looked like a bit of a cop-out. DWEI score +3 Love and Monsters I don’t know which was more entertaining – the episode itself or the online reaction. There were a lot of naughty words thrown about before, during and after this episode aired. It reminded me of the online hysteria when Dawn appeared in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (lots of Buffers, Buffites, Buffies or Buffos calling for Joss Whedon’s head because he had apparently forgotten that Buffy didn’t have a sister) or when BtVS aired "The Zeppo" (which was meant to be focussed on Xander rather than the monster – that didn’t stop dumb fans complaining that the writer/director kept messing up and missing the action and showing Xander instead). The bottom line is that this was RTD’s most successful bit of comedy, it will have been enjoyed by the real target demographics, it was only as "real" as you want it to have been, it’s only a TV show anyway and those who were unable to put forth a constructive reason why they hated it should’ve seethed quietly rather than posting page after page of adolescent swearing. DWEI score +2 Billie’s Departure I’m quite pleased she’s going. Not because I dislike her or Rose but hopefully it will get them away from everything I said in the Rise of the Cybermen piece. No Rose means no Jackie, no 2006, no council estate. It would be nice to have a companion with no ties and let Doctor Who go back to being about space and time not short hops and back in time for X Factor. The rumour mill is turning and lots of names were being tossed out (if mills toss things out that is). One mentioned someone from the Crossroads revival – I thought it might’ve been the cute Asian receptionist but it isn’t. Still, it’s good news the Tylers are being written out and we can but hope they don’t just clone Rose (albeit with a wacky twist like her being black or disabled or Welsh but still with the same family, location, baggage etc). DWEI score +1 Online Antics We see a lot of good and bad within online fandom. There are some sweet and lovely people, some fascinating and intelligent discussions, some marvellously creative talents, some witless morons who should be sold for scrap and, sadly, some truly nasty people. One such – we’ll call him P – was responsible for the single most depressing incident I’ve yet seen on a Doctor Who board. P (to author Craig Hinton) "Now that BBC Books are being a bit more choosy ... have introduced a quality control guarant .... are showing environmental commitment and not bothering to pulp the paper in the first place, alot of fan authors are finding themselves with fewer luncheon vouchers than they're used to." Craig to P "I suppose you think you're incredibly amusing. Perhaps you'd like to ponder on the fact that when Synthespians was "decommisioned" for 2 years in 2001, the loss of the advance cost me my house and all my possessions since they were repossesed when I couldn't afford the mortgage and fell behind. Being a freelance writer is financially precarious, but please, make a joke about it, why don't you? Basically, you're a tactless, talentless c*** and I can't be bothered with you venting your spleen at people who've never done you any harm in the first place, so you can go and f*** yourself." P was then banned from that particular forum for boasting about Hinton quitting the board and generally being a dick. He took the conversation to another forum (where the latter wouldn’t see it) and amidst various other nasty comments he wrote "I would like to stress that I have been hoping to induce stroke in a fan author and this set back is a disappointment purely for the loss of yet another opportunity to semi-paralyse a typist." Not only is that not funny but from what I’ve seen and read about P I actually think he’d be happy if someone like that actually did have a stroke or a heart attack or whatever. And why? Presumably because Hinton got his books published and P didn’t. DWEI score -6 The New Series Ratings It has been interesting to see people react to each Sunday’s overnight ratings. Ian Levine in particular has been quite animated. He has bemoaned the hot weather, the football, the public, the press and the BBC for the ratings declining as the season has gone on. On one level he’s right – the numbers are contexted for now but in the future they will be simple numbers and they will show that fewer people watched each week. We look at ratings from the 60s and draw conclusions from them. What is to say the same won’t happen in 40 years from now? The telehistorians of the future won’t say "Ah but that was a warm day" or "Robbie Williams was playing footy on the other side". But at the end of the day the ratings only matter to the BBC higher ups and they will take decisions now rather than in 40 years time. Those who think low ratings on hot days during the World Cup will lead to cancellation need to stop worrying. The hysteria was funny for a while, now it has just become tiresome. DWEI score -1 The Tabloids On the flip side of that are the scum fuckers that go by the name of "tabloid newspapers". A contradiction in terms if ever I heard one. They too have leapt on the ratings band wagon and drawn hysterical conclusions. The only difference to fandom is that the tabloids take great joy in predicting the imminent cancellation of the show. This will, however, subside very quickly and once the new companion joins they will love the show again (providing she’s pretty enough to print lots of photos of). After one particularly ill-informed and absurd story in the Daily Scum Ian Levine sounded desperate. He concluded his post with "What do we do about it ????" My first instinct was to laugh at him for his overreaction but then I thought at least he wants to do something about it. There isn’t anything he could do and if he tried all he’d achieve would be keeping the story alive past its 24 hour window of life and reinforcing the idea that DW fans are morons. But it shows why he’s an achiever and I’m not – he always wants to do something, I don’t. So the tabloids can fuck off. Their influence is overrated – if they get their teeth into someone with weeks of damaging coverage then I can see them being a problem but one off articles about ratings (tabloid readers don’t like stories with numbers in) are a minor blip. Still, I hate them and their cancerous existence so I’ll still give them a DWEI score of -3 because it is still unnecessary for them to be so malicious. The Stone Rose I have to buy the books – don’t we all? – because they are there, because they are always 3-for-2 and because the first few that I read were pretty good. The Stone Rose – written by the usually excellent and cute Jac Rayner – starts all well and good. But then we find it has a genie in it. A literal genie. It is called a genie, it grants wishes, it is a fucking genie. They added some DNA mumbo jumbo to get it back into the "science" part of the Venn diagram but it was still a genie which granted wishes and that is a sore disappointment. It keeps to reading until the end but only because you desperately want to discover that it isn’t a genie. Then you reach the end, sigh "yes – it was a genie", and try to expunge the wretched book from your thoughts. DWEI score -2 Inferno on DVD Who could ask for more? Two documentaries, seven restored episodes, an online price war which knocked nearly 50% off before it had even been released and a commentary featuring Uncle Barry, Uncle Terrance AND the Brig? DWEI score +2 Future DVDs We now know that the second half of 2006 will bring the Hand of Fear, Mark of the Rani, the season 2 boxed set and there is still room for more. I may be unique in that I don’t begrudge any stories coming out on DVD. I have my favourites of course but I don’t hold with the mindset of "Why are they releasing that?" Every story that comes out is a good thing. Sadly, we’re still on course to wait until 2019 for the complete set. Dangnabbit. DWEI score (for the new releases) +2 Rumours of Invasion Animation Ian Levine’s forum is abuzz with a rumour that the two missing episodes of The Invasion will be on the DVD in animated form. Levine, never one to hide his contempt for baseless stories, has instead merely said he is appalled. Which does suggest there may be some truth to it. All of which does strongly suggest that The Invasion will be out in 2006 (to tie in with Cybermania) and that makes me happy. I like The Invasion and I like Hines/Padders commentaries too. If the animated episodes happen and are crap then who cares? The disc will still contain all six existing episodes – the animations will be a bonus which can be watched or ignored depending on personal preference. Assuming there is some truth to it I’ll give it a +1 because I like the idea that the RT and the BBC are still willing to do something different and inventive after forty-plus releases. The Kingmaker This is the only one of BF’s three releases which I’ve actually listened to all the way through. I don’t fully know what to make of it – it was either a jumbled mess of in-jokes and wooden performances or it was a witty and inventive story which was preferable to the rather stale 5th Doctor stories which have come out over the last couple of years. Perhaps a December release would’ve earned it a better reception but I’m willing to have fun at any time of the year. It wasn’t really any more piss-taking than Fountain’s earlier Omega and if you can accept that as "proper" Doctor Who then it isn’t too much of a stretch to accept The King Maker either. DWEI score +2
Scoreboard Start of play : +10 This week : +17 Overall total : +27
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