The Doctor Who Enjoyment Index (DWEI) takes a weekly* snapshot of what it is like to be one particular Doctor Who fan. Things that happen get a plus or minus score, those scores are totted up and a running total is kept. That’s it really.

*Ok, so weekly might have been a bit optimistic for this bit of analytical fluff.

The big New Series casting news has been Peter Kay – a comedian best known for being large, northern and for doing an oft-quoted routine about garlic bread. I’ve never liked him and have never knowingly watched one of his programmes twice. But people say he is a good dramatic actor. It wouldn’t be the first time a comedian has played it straight to good effect – for my money Simon Pegg was the best guest star of the first season and who can forget Nicholas Parsons in Curse of Fenric? Just because someone is best known for something doesn’t mean they can’t do anything else. Yes, it is a move which will get publicity but I think we can trust RTD to make decisions which are both popular and sensible. If Peter Kay turns out to be another Ken Dodd/Richard Briers it is will more likely be a badly written part (as theirs were) rather than him not being up to the job. DWEI score +1

The Veiled Leopard - A DWM freebie CD which features four companions but no Doctor? Interesting idea. The premise of this hour-long adventure is that Peri and Erimem have been sent by the Fifth Doctor to prevent a diamond being stolen from a party in Monte Carlo. Meanwhile, Ace and Hex have been dispatched by the Seventh Doctor to steal it. It is an entertaining enough romp – not a lot of substance and not much actual story to carry it along – but worth a listen if you happen to have it. It did make me realise how much better Sophie Aldred is now that Hex has joined the team. She gets to be a bit older, a bit more mature, a bit less of the annoying teenage Ace. She’s almost become the Doctor to Hex’s Ace. I’m even warming to Hex himself – he’s settled down a little and has stopped saying "Oh my god" every time anything happens. I don’t know whether the Doctor-less cover-mount was an economic decision or a deliberate attempt to showcase some of BF’s new characters but it is one of the better freebies they’ve produced. DWEI score +1

Big Finish have released their schedule for the second half of 2006. It sounds like good stuff –

Nicholas Briggs is also writing the July 2006 play. Entitled The Nowhere Place, the story finds the Sixth Doctor experiencing ghostly encounters.

The ominously entitled Red, by Stewart Sheargold, is August's release and features the Seventh Doctor and an exploration in to the motivation behind murder.

The Reaping is the first of Joseph Lidster's two plays to be released in September. The Sixth Doctor discovers that someone is making novel use of the recently dead.

September's second release is The Gathering and the Fifth Doctor is reunited with an old friend who might not be that pleased to see him.

The Eighth Doctor, Charley and C'rizz take a stroll down Memory Lane in October. Written by Eddie Robson, the travellers find themselves locked in a suburban Hell where there really is nothing at the end of the lane.

Novermber's release is We are the Dead by Martin Day. The Seventh Doctor finds himself trapped in the trenches of the first World War, but the enemy maybe closer to home than Europe.

Finally, in December, Paul Cornell and Mike Maddox tells four seasonal tales with the Fifth Doctor in Circular Time.

Nice to see two from Joseph Lidster – one of my favourite BF authors – amongst an intriguing bunch. But the recent history of Big Finish is stories which sound a lot more interesting in a sentence than they do over two hours. Still, I’m a cynical pessimist prone to irrational bouts of naïve optimism so I’ll give that line-up (and another freebie for subscribers) a DWEI score of +1

The Sun reports that the Tardis will be "landing in Albert Square" in a forthcoming adventure. "An insider said: ‘The Doctor and his sidekick Rose (Billie Piper) have travelled galaxies far and wide and battled vile aliens, but they’ve never come up against Peggy Mitchell.’" Now, this could just be The Scum talking out of their soap-obsessed arses but there is an uncomfortable ring of truth about it. If the New Series has a fault it is that it spends too much time rooted in the present day.. Not the high-tech "today" of BUGS or the "five-minutes-in-the-future" of the UNIT years but the very ordinary, day-to-day present of real life. Paying a visit to Albert Square would please the tabloids but it would be a slap in the face for anyone who wants this show to be different from all the other shit on TV. DWEI score -2  (it would be more but it is – as yet – only a rumour)

Getting kids involved with New Who is a good idea – the show’s family appeal is one of its greatest strengths – but CBBC spin-offs like Companion Academy (et al) are a terrible, terrible thing. Because you know and I know that we are, by definition, completionists and we’ll have to watch them. And record them. And keep them. The only thing that makes this any less tragic is that at least American fans will have to go to the trouble of download a torrent before watching them. DWEI score -1

Another spin-off rumour is that K9 might get his own show. This is something that does the rounds every few years and has done since the original pilot back in 1981. That came to nothing, rumours throughout the eighties came to nothing, an animated series in the early nineties came to nothing, a CGI series in the late nineties came to nothing. Even when the technical limitations of a plastic dog on wheels are overcome you are still left with the basic set up – a robot dog solving crimes. It doesn’t work. If it were to be made today they couldn’t have Lis Sladen starring – she’s too old. The target audience would dictate that annoying kids be brought in (Sarah Jane’s nieces and nephews no doubt). The whole thing would be too ghastly to contemplate. K9 only worked as the ultimate straight-man to Tom Baker’s bonkers Doctor. He is no more capable of carrying a series as the star than Nicholas Lyndhurst (and don’t get me onto that argument). DWEI score -1

I mentioned last "week" that Bus had lit the spark of video-tastic inspiration in me. I actually went through with it and inadvertently started a trend. Reaction to my two very different efforts has been largely positive and made the ungodly amount of time each took to make worthwhile. I have one more in production but it is taking even longer than the first two. It is on course to feature around eighty clips – nearly three times as many as some other videos produced recently. That’s what the song demands and who am I to argue with a musical icon? A fun development and worth of a DWEI score of +2

Scoreboard

Start of play : +9

This week : +1

Overall total : +10