The Book of the Still

Paul Ebbs

for the defence: Nothing.

for the prosecution: And again, nothing. Maybe Paul Ebbs came and went like a summer cloud?

Good question!! A race of beings want to keep their paradoxical existence a secret, and will go to absurdly genocidal lengths to maintain that secret. It's also a story about a book (although not, alas, one from the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor) that everybody seems to want to variously steal, fondle, and turn into a temporary spaceship. Ye-es...

Although by no means a bad book, and in fact there are several very strong set-pieces, it's hard not to feel slightly disappointed at the rather confusing ending. The idea of a whole sequence of events being a closed-circuit (with the end looping round to the beginning) was done better in NA Death and Diplomacy, and here it seems out of place as the 'explanation' for the plot. The prose is engaging, if a little overblown in places, and the story does carry you along... but I for one came away from it scratching my head over the actual story.

The past couple of adventures are referenced early on, with the opponents in Anachrophobia being captured in the rather neat turn of phrase, "clockwork arseholes" - this is, in case you hadn't guessed, Fitz' description. Going back rather further, when Fitz' memory returns late in the book he recalls, amongst other things, Compassion (former companion and sentient TARDIS from Interference through to The Ancestor Cell).

After a recent fallow period, there is some movement on the 'Fitz as stud' front here, albeit the lady in question (Carmodi Litian) first has his memories altered, and even then only likes him because of the particles that adhere to him from so much time travel rather than for himself (well, I guess we've all had relationships like that). Although we see Fitz and Carmodi book into a hotel, and share various close encounters, I don't think there is actually any red-hot Fitzy action. Ah well, maybe next time...

Intriguingly, in his dream/fantasy world Fitz imagines the Doctor as an evil world-dictator (Fitz' evil arch enemy, Doctori) and Anji as the sword-wielding Anjilina. He pictures Anjilina in a crimson dress of red feathers, which (dream sequence or not) seems perfectly reasonable to me. Which reminds me, did I mention that Anji wore a bikini during Trading Futures?

We learn that Fitz peed on his headmaster's aspidistra (although this may be a dream) and more significantly that even on a subconscious level his feelings towards Anji are purely platonic (yes, I was surprised too). And it's rather touching for Fitz to state (on page 264) that he genuinely loves the Doctor.

Elsewhere there's not much of interest - no Dave-ridden angst, no hint of Sabbath, and nothing more on the mysteriously shrunken TARDIS interior. Quite the opposite in fact, as the TARDIS grows a 'Minus Room' for the Doctor - presumably a variant on the Zero Room from Castrovalva, it appears to be even more cut off from the rest of the universe than that pinkish-grey environment was, which means that by being in there the Doctor can allow a bomb to explode within the TARDIS, and live to tell the tale. So, even more like Brisbane than Brisbane then.

Chapters 13 to 15 suggest that the TARDIS is extremely heavy, with Anji needing a whole mob (and an angry one at that) to push it upright. I'm not sure how well that fits with the TV series, although it did take an army of Marshmen to carry it in Full Circle, so maybe...

Although it's a rather odd book, the Doctor at least comes out of it rather well. He spends the early part of the book locked up, which he handles with cheerful insouciance (presumably he's forgotten his imprisonment phobia, which he developed back in Seeing I). Having escaped, his face is being broadcast to the public as that of a dangerous criminal, but nevertheless he doesn't hesitate to dive in and help out when people need rescuing from a crashed bus. A 'simple' act of heroism such as this goes a long way towards redeeming the rather dubious Doctor of the previous book I think.

Even more impressive is the Doctor managing to fly himself and his companions into the photosphere of Earth's sun by making a sealed travel capsule out of the separated pages of the Book of the Still. Neat trick if you can do it.

We learn that the Doctor doesn't like rollercoaster, and that he can't dance - although once he is given a few lessons he picks it up with wonderful ease, allowing the Doctor to spend what he thinks are the last few minutes of his life waltzing. Rather nice that.

Much is also made of the Doctor's smell - he smells of "rice paper and rainy days" apparently, with the image of rain being mentioned several times. I like to think it means that he has about him the feel that comes from those days when the rain's arrival clears the air, making the world feel fresh and clean again, but equally it could mean that seeing the Doctor coming makes you want to hide indoors and sit by the fire.

This Book: With the disclaimer that I do buy some books for myself, let me admit that this is the third in a row that came as a present from my brother. In this case it was Christmas 2003, and I've only now come to read it, in its proper place. At the same time I was given The Curse of Fenric on DVD, and as soon as every one of the preceding 153 stories is available on DVD so that I can watch it in its correct context, I hope to greatly enjoy it. In the meantime, another free book means another saving of £5.99. Now that's what I call Victorian value...

Running Score: £71.56 against RRP to date.