The Slow Empire

Dave Stone

for the defence: Sky Pirates! (NA)

for the prosecution: Death and Diplomacy (NA)

A load of monsters who normally live in the vortex have a millenia-long plan to take over a sort of pocket universe. The Doctor arrives, acts a bit odd for a while, then stops them. Yes I'm afraid it's as uninviting as that. Only more so.

I liked the idea, when I heard it, of an Empire where nobody can travel faster than light speed, although I couldn't personally think of a story to weave around it... disappointingly, Dave Stone couldn't either. Although his 'comedic' style is a matter of taste, his books normally have an internal logic which gives the plots real power. But without the tight structure that put the icing on the cake of Sky Pirates! or the brilliantly unexpected timeloop that partly redeemed Death and Diplomacy this book comes across as lots of faffing around for no reason, and lacks a proper climax.

A question mark umbrella makes a brief appearance, albeit of a different colour scheme to the one so beloved of the seventh Doctor. This one is yellow with an ebony handle, and turns out to be a sword-stick.

There's also a passing mention to the Doctor wanting to pick up a piccolo, which I take to be a reference to the recorder-toting Troughton Doctor.

There's a second console room in the TARDIS which, with its description of white and roundelled walls may be intended as the sort of console room we were used to in the good old days...

And that's pretty much it I think. From the Father Time flash-forward I didn't especially notice anything - having said that, one of the snippets from that is of the Doctor yelling, "Time is out of joint!" which, although I didn't find it in The Slow Empire might have been intended for inclusion. Certainly the book mentions several times that the Empire exists in a strange area of "sprained time."

Well he doesn't kill anybody, but other than managing a few rescues of the "back to the TARDIS" variety he doesn't do much else either. Distinctly indistinct in this one.

This Book: £3.00 + 90p postage from the ever-resourceful eBay for a mint copy. I make that £2.09 saved on RRP for this book...

Running Score: ...making the current total £33.71 against RRP