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 By Rob McCow |
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What’s the story called? Doctor Conkerer The Collector Doctor Conkerer graced the pages of Doctor Who Magazine #162 after failing to make it into The Incredible Hulk Presents before it was cancelled. It was reprinted for those unfortunates who missed it in The Mark of Mandragora graphic novel published in June 1993. The World Shapers Script – Ian Rimmer Art – Mike Collins Letters – Stuart Bartlett Editor – Steve White Fellow Travellers The Doctor meets a redheaded boy of about twelve years old who directs him to the nearest conker patch. Thanks to the Doctor’s intervention, the boy has an important role to play in the historical development of autumn woodland pastimes. The Deal "Found my five-hundred year diary at last… the Kalik menace is over but I feel distracted by recent events. I must find a way to concentrate…" The Doctor. The Doctor is playing conkers in the TARDIS, on his own, with a conker on a string tied to the end of his umbrella. It might be an eternal temporal prison as one particular conker has become a three million one hundred and sixty sixer. He lands in eighth century Britain in search of more opposition for his 3,000,166-er. He spots some Vikings out on the pillage and hides from them. Then he meets a nervous, redheaded boy from the local village who waves a spear at him. The Doctor explains that he isn't a Viking and that he's merely out looking for conkers.
He leaves the boy and finds a horse chestnut tree with hundreds of conkers – a conkercopia? He returns to the TARDIS and finds the boy's spear. The Vikings have captured all the local villagers and are taking them to become slaves. They return to the Longboats to find them on fire. The Doctor arrives and tells them that he burnt the boats. The Viking leader attacks the Doctor, but the Doctor is able to disarm him and knock him out using his conker. The boy helps the Doctor find his way back to the TARDIS, as the villagers appear to kick the shit out of the Vikings. Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor resumes his game of conkers and wonders who first came up with the idea. Meanwhile, in the village, the boy shows his mates a new game to play with the nuts of the horse chestnut tree...
TV Action Vikings appeared in the Doctor Who story The Time Meddler, where William the Conqueror was also mentioned a great deal.
The Doctor carried a conker (ouch) in The Highlanders and claims that he used to play conkers as a boy in that story. 4-Dimensional Vistas While nothing special, the art in this story is competent and tells the story. Although the Vikings are a bit ‘Hägar the Horrible’ they still manage to look quite ferocious. To be honest I don’t care a jot whether they wouldn’t have really worn helmets with horns, at least it makes it immediately clear who they are. Sylvester McCoy is spot on throughout, an advantage of having plenty of excellent publicity shots by this point. The alteration of the seventh Doctor’s logo to ‘Doctor Conkerer!’ is possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to that logo. The TARDIS console, woodland and village backgrounds all look great too. End of The Line Once again, DWM suffers through having to serve up sloppy seconds from The Incredible Hulk Presents. It’s utterly out of step from Train Flight and Fellow Travellers, the stories either side of it, both of which try to create a more adult and frightening atmosphere. A short review for a short comic strip: It’s fun, bright and breezy. It’s over in five pages. The artwork is quite good. Unfortunately, it’s not going to win many people over. It feels like a minor subplot from a proper story rather than something that stands up in it’s own right. Follow That TARDIS! The Incredible Hulk Presents was supposed to run Doctor Conkerer in issue #13, but the comic was cancelled before the strip could be printed. The Doctor keeps his conkers in a biscuit tin marked ‘Guaneri’s Best Biscuits’. Given an approximate time of 40 seconds to put a hole through the conker, tie the string and smash it, the Doctor would have needed to play conkers continuously for 3 years, 9 months and 20 days in order to get a three million, one hundred and sixty sixer. In a direct nod to this story, the Doctor can be seen idly playing with a conker at the end of the epic comic strip The Mark of Mandragora.
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