By Rob McCow

Once Upon A Time-Lord
 

The Collector

Once Upon A Time-Lord was first published in Doctor Who Magazine issues #98-99, from March to April of 1985. It was reprinted in colour in April 1989 for Doctor Who: Voyager, a DWM special. On 11 October 2007, Panini Books have scheduled the release of ‘Voyager’, which will reprint the story in black and white.
 

The World Shapers

Writer – Steve Parkhouse

Artwork – John Ridgeway

Lettering – Steve Dillon

Editor – Ian Rimmer

Colours (for the reprinted edition) – Gina Hart
 

Fellow Travellers

Frobisher is a guttersnipe from a slum on a backwater planet, according to the Doctor, so when he claims to have some ‘merry chums’ the Doctor is instantly suspicious. Frobisher is still a penguin and eats a worm in this story, but soon wishes he hadn’t. Having very short legs, he soon gets tired of running. He hasn’t been to a carnival in years, so he is quite keen to explore the one at Ringway at the end of the story.
 

The Deal

The Doctor is in hot pursuit of Frobisher, who was kidnapped (in Polly The Glot) by Astrolabus, cosmic jester and a fellow Time Lord. The Doctor takes his TARDIS into the Cabinet of Astrolabus, hoping to pit his Gallifreyan technology against the might of Astrolabus’s mental powers.

Inside the Cabinet, the Doctor finds a green fantasy landscape with castles, hot-air balloons and dark woods, though the scanner shows an empty world that is devoid of life. As he steps out of the TARDIS, he is attacked by a hooded horse rider, who disappears into the wood. As the hooded man rides past, the Doctor exclaims ‘By Elbereth and Luthien fair, you shall have neither the ring or me!’ which puzzles him. As he ponders why he should say such a thing, Frobisher appears. The Doctor is happy to see him, but doesn’t trust that Astrolabus simply let him go. Nothing is real in this world of fantasy, as the Doctor and Frobisher realise when they encounter a talking tree.

They are being watched, however, by Astrolabus. He has opened up his Time Cabinet so that the children of the Ringway Carnival can observe the Doctor’s adventures and choose his eventual fate.

Make Your Own Adventure, Astrolabus style!

The Doctor and Frobisher enter a Rupert The Bear style world, where a friendly Badger named Brock feeds Frobisher a worm. They walk on and the woods get darker. They are surrounded by mysterious eyes. Suddenly, an arrow whizzes past Frobisher’s head. He runs to get out of the wood, but is captured by Pygmies, who plan to eat him. Just as the Doctor gives up hope, Tarzan arrives to rescue Frobisher. They both run to get away.

Rupert the Bear was the main inspiration for this comic strip's strange deviation.

Free from the Rupert The Bear pages, Frobisher feels that they’re not in control. They make for the castle, speculating that they may find the answer there. They are chased by a giant, but get to the castle just in time and lower the drawbridge. The Doctor realises that Astrolabus has limited powers and will soon get bored.

Inside the castle, the Doctor finds Astrolabus with a puppet fashioned to look like the Doctor. He grabs a sword from the walls and cuts the strings, then starts fighting with Astrolabus. He cuts the wizard’s arm, which reveals the secret star charts of Voyager tattooed onto his body. This is where Astrolabus has been drawing his power from. He makes a run for it through a dimension gate, with the Doctor close behind and determined to catch him. They pass through a variety of environments before Astrolabus escapes into a yellow desert.

Astrolabus senses a greater power taking control. Voyager arrives on horseback and demands the return of his star charts. The Doctor reveals that the terrified Astrolabus has tattooed them all over his body by tearing off his cloak. Voyager tells them that Astrolabus wanted the secrets of the dimension of death. As such, he grants the wizard’s wish. Death will be his dominion. He summons up a sandstorm that tears him apart.

A painful send-off for Astrolabus.

The Doctor realises that he is free from Astrolabus’ interference in his life. With his dying breath, Astrolabus tells the Doctor that he’ll never know how long he has been controlling his life.

Back at the carnival the Time Cabinet explodes, releasing the Doctor, Frobisher and the TARDIS. Frobisher suggests they look round the carnival, but the Doctor draws the line at seeing the Tattooed Man.
 

TV Action

The interior of Astrolabus’ Time Cabinet is fairly similar to the environment outside of space and time that the Doctor visited in The Mind Robber. Everything is a fiction and many of the characters and situations are pulled from children’s stories.

The Doctor and Frobisher encounter a badger. The miners in The Monster of Peladon had haircuts that looked like badgers. That’s about the bottom of the barrel as far as continuity with the TV series goes.
 

Although not quite as stunning as the previous instalments, there are some cracking moments in Once Upon A Time-Lord. The TARDIS travelling down the Time Cabinet is nicely reminiscent of the Pertwee time tunnel and the fantasy world looks very pastoral, if completely weird. The three pages done in the style of Rupert The Bear work quite well in context and are a spot-on pastiche of the original. Voyager himself appears out of the desert like Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia, immediately dominating the story. The death of Astrolabus is awesomely horrific the agony on his face as the sands tear him apart is shocking. A worthy end for a fantastic villain.
 

The ongoing Voyager saga draws to a close as the Doctor is drawn into his final climactic battle with Astrolabus. The Doctor’s nemesis was set up as a well-defined character over the previous stories so we don’t have to question his motivations. The Doctor simply needs to defeat the mad old wizard. Astrolabus’ eventual fate is suitably nasty.

The fantasy world doesn’t outstay it’s welcome either. The Doctor very quickly assesses the situation and pins down what’s going on, but there’s enough space for a bit of fun with the format. If it had come straight after Voyager, however it would have been a bit too much, but fortunately there’s the slightly more traditional ‘Polly The Glot’ between them, striking a balance.

The change of tone over the last few pages is wonderful as well. The story shifts gear from a funny but sinister fantasy to the deadly serious and dangerous conclusion. In Voyager Steve Parkhouse has finally found his ultimate malevolent force. Not necessarily a villain, Voyager is a supremely powerful and unknowable being, disinterested and detached from our world, yet actively involved. He serves the story as a Deus ex Machina, but that’s rather the point.

At the end of the story the Doctor has his free will returned to him and is released into the Universe. Without the influence of Astrolabus and Voyager he is free, but will he find the Universe as gloriously full of wonder as he did in these stories? Only time will tell.
 

In Rupert The Bear, Rupert has a Badger friend, but he is called Bill rather than Brock.

In issue #101 Darren Giddings of ‘Box’ in ‘Wilts’ praised the comic strip. ‘If only John Nathan-Turner hired up the Marvel writers, then maybe the show could escape from the TV ‘B’ Movie melodrama it seems to have fixed itself into over the last few years.’ But in issue #102, Jon D. Almond of Chelsmford had a letter printed where he said that the comic strip wasn’t as good as it used to be, although he did think that ‘Parts of Once Upon A Time-Lord and the preceding strip showed a faint glimmer of that former glory.’

The last page of the story introduces the family of penguins that occasionally turn up to point at Frobisher.

Frobisher's original fanclub.

The Tattooed Man is billed as ‘A Profusion of Pictures. 100% coverage. A body of knowledge. Encyclopaedic Epidermis. Magnifying glasses provided for small print.’

The shield on the wall of Astrolabus’ castle that the Doctor pulls a sword from features a fetching emblem of three penguins rampant and a police box. There is also a Prince Valiant emblem on the back of a chair.

The stories referenced in Once Upon A Time-Lord include: Little Red Riding Hood, Lord of the Rings, Tinkerbell, the Gingerbread House, Rupert the Bear and Tarzan.

John Ridgeway included a forgery of Hogarth’s signature immediately after the Rupert sequence. Hogarth was the original Tarzan comic strip artist.

Once Upon A Time-Lord was Steve Parkhouse’s last story for the Doctor Who comic strip. Astrolabus’ last words echo his own feelings at leaving. ‘How can you know… how long… I have been writing your life? What will you do? Now that I’m… gone?’