By Rob McCow

Polly The Glot
 

The Collector

Polly The Glot was first published in Doctor Who Magazine issues #95-96, welcoming in the new year between December 1984 to January 1985. It was coloured in and reprinted in two DWM specials, first in Collected Comics in August 1986 then In April 1989 for Doctor Who: Voyager. It’s due to appear in black and white in ‘Voyager’, scheduled by Panini Books for 11 October 2007.
 

The World Shapers

Writer – Steve Parkhouse

Artwork – John Ridgeway

Lettering – Steve Dillon

Editor – Ian Rimmer

Colours (for the reprinted edition) – Gina Hart
 

Fellow Travellers

Frobisher continues to prove himself as an amusing and self-assured companion. He retains the penguin shape that he is so fond of, even to the extent that when he goes incognito to buy a newspaper, he wears a big trench-coat and hat rather than change shape. When the two Doctors explore the Akker ship, Frobisher goes in his own direction to get to the bottom of things.

Two Doctors? Along with Frobisher, the Doctor is accompanied by the redoubtable Doctor Ivan Asimoff, who previously appeared in The Free-Fall Warriors. Asimoff is, according to his introduction, ‘Adventurer, scientist, mild and bitter by turns… wit, raconteur and vagabond at heart… an invincible ally’. He’s still insecure, green, warty and tentacled. In this story he seems older and has more responsibilities, such as being an active member of the ‘Save the Zyglot’ Trust.
 

The Deal

The Doctor and Frobisher land on Galena, a busy spaceport. It’s known as the crossroads of the galaxy, so it’s unsurprising when they bump into their old friend Doctor Ivan Asimoff. Asimoff asks for their aid, but is in a hurry to catch his shuttle so he gives them his card with the co-ordinates for the ‘Save the Zyglot’ Trust.

Across the galaxy, a young Zyglot is being chased by some bored potato-headed aliens. The Zyglot is an enormous, beautiful, space-creature. The aliens capture it and comment that it will probably squirt red ink at them. They intend to sell the creature to the Carnival at Ringway. It was at this carnival where Doctor Asimoff saw the Zyglot, Polly, for the first time and fell in love.

The ‘Save the Zyglot’ Trust is failing through lack of funds. As Dr. Asimoff travels to his meeting with the Trust, he wonders what he will tell them. He hears the TARDIS land nearby and Frobisher emerges, dressed in a trench coat and fedora, carrying a gun. He orders Asimoff inside. The Doctor informs Dr. Asimoff that he is being kidnapped!

A while later, Frobisher picks up a newspaper reporting the kidnap. Asimoff has been living in luxury on board the TARDIS, eating ice cream and watching TV, but still demands to know how long he is to be imprisoned for. The Doctor explains that he is holding Dr. Asimoff to ransom. As soon as the public hear about the kidnap, the donations should pour in and the Zyglot Trust will be saved. Dr. Asimoff says that the President of the Trust will be furious. The President’s name is Professor Astro Labus.

On hearing the old magician’s name, the Doctor falls into a surreal nightmare. The floor dissolves beneath him and he finds himself falling towards a planet. The planet slowly turns into the head of Astrolabus and the Doctor falls helplessly into his enormous mouth.

At the Zyglot Trust meeting, a runner announces that Dr. Asimoff has been kidnapped. President Astro Labus smells a rat – and a penguin!

On board the TARDIS, Frobisher wakes the Doctor up. The Doctor surmises that he has been suffering from post-hypnotic suggestion. He arms Asimoff with a stun weapon and they head to the spaceship of the Akkers, the potato-headed aliens seen capturing the Zyglot earlier in the comic strip.

The Akkers are the dullest race in the galaxy. When a pair of them come across the penguin-shaped Frobisher, they realise that it can’t be a figment of their imaginations - because they don’t have imaginations. The alarm is sounded and the ship’s Defender is activated. This is a huge robot that accosts Dr. Asimoff the Doctor. The Defender is able to transform into a variety of robot shapes, ranging form an ‘Industrial vacuum cleaner with spray paint attachment’ to ‘A pile of old buckets’. He bashes the Doctor on the head with a mop, but is stopped in his tracks when Dr. Asimoff aims his gun at the Defender.

Beware the Defender! Make sure you do your health and safety forms

The so-called Defender admits that he is really only the ship’s janitor. He directs them to the bridge, where the Akker captain and his associate are pondering over their captive, Frobisher. Dr. Asimoff uses his gun to hold up the bridge, but the Akker Captain threatens to press a button that will crush their captive Zyglot. There is a sudden CRAAASH! And the real Defender robot bursts onto the bridge. This gives Dr. Asimoff the chance to shoot the control panel, which releases the Zyglot.

Under threat of being blasted, the Akker Captain reveals he is working for the Owner of the Ringway Carnival – the Great Swami, Astral Arbus! Astrolabus has been playing off both sides against each other and reaping the profits of both the Carnival and the Trust.

On Ringway, Astrolabus sees in his crystal ball that he has been betrayed. He starts packing, but the TARDIS lands outside his tent. He is accosted by Frobisher and a furious Dr. Asimoff. Before they are able to do anything though, Astrolabus grabs Frobisher and dives into a Time Cabinet. Asimoff runs out to tell the Doctor.

The Doctor has adjusted the zero-gravity field on Polly’s void-trap, allowing her to escape through the atmosphere back into space. She stretches her tendrils and blossoms in a huge, beautiful display. Asimoff watches, sad that he has lost Polly forever. The Doctor departs in the TARDIS, but leaves Asimoff a gift of 125,000 Mazumas, courtesy of Ultra-Venus Inc., to help the ‘Save The Zyglot’ Trust with it’s financial troubles.

Big eyes, fronds, shiny skin... it's got to be a Zyglot
 

TV Action

A carnival tent with a mysterious crystal ball appeared in the TV story Snakedance.

Professor Astrolabus has a beard and uses a variety of easily-solvable pseudonyms. The Master often does the same thing.

Galena is an enormous bustling spaceport, similar to the ones seen in Dragonfire, or The End of The World. Galena is far more heavily than both of those, however.

The comic strip Doctor is still far mellower than his TV counterpart. He smiles, makes jokes and treats his companions as equals. Despite the costume, he’s someone you’d want to travel with or even get kidnapped by, given his treatment of Dr. Asimoff! On the other hand this version of the Doctor is one that keeps shotguns and stun guns on board the TARDIS.
 

4-Dimensional Vistas

There are a couple of things that really stand out in this comic strip. Dr. Asimoff looks exactly the same as when we last saw him, which is pleasing. Ridgeway has caught the little alien perfectly. There’s the magnificent Zyglots, which are huge psychedelic space whales with big, sad eyes. The blossoming of Polly the Glot is magnificent as it erupts into an enormous bloom of fleshy flowers.

The Robot Janitor is a delight as well, with its bizarre transformations. He’s got a sad face and cumbersome design reminiscent of Marvin The Paranoid Android. It adds to the comedy that he can only turn into crappy-looking cleaning equipment.

Best of all though is the Doctor’s nightmare, falling towards the planet that slowly turns round to become Astrolabus’ head and gaping mouth. It’s a wonderful image and possibly defining of the Ridgeway era.

He probably thought it was a liquorice allsort

In general the layout is quite pedestrian with the page divided into six or eight with lots of people talking. It serves the story very well, being more straightforward than the strange tales either side of it.
 

End of The Line

What could have been a fairly standard sci-fi Don’t Kill The Whale allegory is made special for a couple of reasons.

The return of Doctor Ivan Asimoff was much appreciated. He’s given sufficient introduction to feel like an old friend even if you’ve never read The Freefall Warriors. He retains some of his naivety from the previous story, but he’s a little older and more respectable. His love for Polly and his sadness at the end of the story adds welcome depth to the character too.

I found the Akkers particularly amusing with their ultra-dull conversations and handy signs all over the place. Their Robot Janitor was an absolute hoot. An utterly crap cleaning-obsessed coward, he provokes a marvellously bewildered reaction from the two Doctors. We even got the line ‘He bopped the Doc with a mop!’

Then there’s Astrolabus. His return must have come as a bit of a shock at the time, especially considering how rare recurring villains had been in the comic strip. The plummet from the comfortable, cosy chat in the TARDIS with Doctor Asimoff into the incredibly surreal attack on the Doctor is fabulous.

Despite all this, the story still has a few problems. Aside from drawing the Doctor into a trap, Astrolabus seems to have no motive in playing off the Zyglot Trust against the Akkers. Even if it was a trap for the Doctor, Astrolabus is unprepared for the TARDIS when it lands at Ringway Carnival. On the other hand, in Voyager, the previous story, it’s clearly established that Astrolabus is a universal trickster and as mad as a Hatter. Perhaps that’s motivation enough!

It’s impossible to deny that Polly The Glot is the best love-story between a small green alien and an enormous pink space creature that Doctor Who has ever been involved in. It’s not perfectly plotted, but it is a thing of joy and wonder.
 

Follow That TARDIS!

Dr. Ivan Asimoff travels Pan-Galactica, or ‘P.G. Trips’ as their corporate logo advertises.

The Zyglots previously appeared in the fifth Doctor comic strip adventure, ‘The Moderator’.

Magazines available on Galena include the ‘Daily Nebulous’, ‘Antique Computer’, ‘Keep Fat’, ‘Tide’, ‘The Stun’ and ‘The Daily Doings’

This story features the first mention of Frobisher’s favourite snack, Chocolate Pilcahrds.

At one point the Akkers go to ‘Grey Alert’. The definition of ‘Grey Alert’ is: ‘All ship functions are put onto a minimum to conserve energy. Power is cut to decks that aren't needed and all other systems are put to 20% operation.’ It does ruin the joke rather.

Galena’s official name is Terminal L.X.116/RM.

The Doctor donates a large sum of money to the ‘Save the Zyglot’ Trust. This is his share of the money that he split with Frobisher at the end of ‘The Shape-Shifter’.

The shockingly verbose John Smith from Blackburn Lancashire, fresh from coping with 10,000 holes also had to cope with the DWM comic strip. ‘And what about the Doctor Who comic strip…? Hmmmmm. Steve Parkhouse is generally a quite good comic script writer, as well as being a brilliant artist, the best story he’s written lately being The Stockbridge Horror. But his later stories are, to be blunt, totally unsuited to the Doctor Who mythos. For example, Lunar Lagoon had very little to do with anything even remotely connected to the Doctor Who genre. It was as if Mr Parkhouse had quickly inserted the Doctor – and rather ineptly at that – into a previously rejected ‘Commando’ war story just to get a few bob. Four Dimensional Vistas, too, was terribly tacky… reading it was like washing the dishes in a sink full of treacle. The storyline was so weak as to be virtually transparent, and was vastly overlengthened by padding. Surely the Ice Warriors deserve better than that sort of pedestrian rubbish? And now we’ve got Voyager – which I must profess I liked very much at first. Okay, so the opening episode was a bit purple, but then I’m not averse to a little purple prose… especially if it’s written as beautifully as this. Though John Ridgeway’s gritty and realistic art didn’t really fit into this kind of surreal story. Mow, however, things are starting to get out of hand. Frobisher boded ill and had become just another sonic screwdriver – though a living one this time. Once the Doctor gets himself into a tight corner, the shape-shifting alien will arrive in true Errol Flynn fashion and valiantly rescue our favourite Time Lord. Companions are one thing, but this…? I personally prefer a much more serious approach to Doctor Who. Like the series itself, the strip should be suspenseful and intelligent, and witty in an elegant sort of way. Mr.Parkhouse seems to glorify in destroying his carefully built-up tension with slap-stick and supposedly amusing rib-ticklers. For what appears to ba homage to Coleridge’s The Rime of The Ancient Mariner, Voyager is an unstable fusion of science and mysticism. Surely the readers deserve something more intense, something more thought provoking than this Keystone Cops style melodrama?’ DWM sensibly entitled this letter ‘Critic’s Corner’.