Dear Diary (continued),

No one quite knew where to look or at whom. The man John had quite possibly sacrificed his life for the common good and we were all of us in awe.

"The bloody fool" snapped Carol. "Why didn’t he wait until we’d run some tests?"

"It should be a simple enough operation" I said reassuringly, "I’ve considered it from every angle. John will arrive at his destination…"

"This is so" confirmed Fingers.

"…have a look around and make some notes, possibly gather some samples of the local minerals…" I continued.

"This is likely" agreed Fingers.

"…and then zap himself back here to report."

"This is impossible" doubted Fingers.

"Impossible?" shrieked Carol Richmond.

"He would need another box like this to transfer himself back here."

"Then John is as good as dead?" she howled.

"Unless Captain Maitland sanctions another transfer experiment."

"I… I couldn’t… I mean I don’t… and I have to stay anyway because…"

"I’ll go" said Carol.

I forbid it" I said forbiddingly.

"You can’t stop me" she replied stridently.

"I can – watch" and I smashed the machine with a hammer I’d just thought into being.

"You stupid…" she began but thought better of it.

"Ah" I replied. I almost immediately saw the flaw in my plan. If this was our only means of escape then we now had one fewer means of escape.

"If that was our only means of escape" announced Carol, "we’ve now got one less means of escape."

"One fewer means of escape" I corrected.

"Dammit, Captain Maitland, I’m a grieving almost-widow not a grammar Nazi."

"Are you still missing John?" I asked.

"Of course I am – he only evaporated a minute ago.

"It’ll get better."

"I could always imagine a new John and bring him into existence" she murmured.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing" she lied. "I’m just going over there to be by myself."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I think I can manage."

"Very well. Electro-fax me if you need anything."

"I will."

I’ll never understand women – away she went with an unidentified smile on her face. She magicked up a chair and sat with her back to me. I think she had her eyes closed. I couldn’t tell. I’m only supposing she did because if I were sitting in a chair like that I would probably at least start with my eyes closed to see whether it was relaxing.

"I could probably make another machine" said Fingers, tugging at my sleeve.

"What was that?"

"I remember every detail of my machine and could probably create a new one using the power of imagination."

"Good lord – then we are saved. With your new machine, Carol Richmond can go in search of the man John and we may have a way out of here. No need for Carol to…"

"Captain Maitland, Fingers, I’d like you to meet John 2.0" said Carol.

Standing before us was a man who looked like John but taller, with darker hair and whiter teeth.

"Carol – splendid news – Fingers can make a new machine so you can get your old John back and you won’t need this new one."

"Dammit, Butch, I’m a living, breathing mineralogist not a plastic cup which can be recycled once it’s been used. You can’t just toss me aside now that I’m here."

"John 2.0 is right – he’s just as much right to be the man John as John 1.0 did. I mean does." said Carol.

"Does he?" I said to Fingers.

"I think he probably does" replied my most junior staff member.

"I’m afraid the Pioneer’s budget won’t stretch to two mineralogists" I protested.

"I don’t see another mineralogist here" said John 2.0.

"I could hire you on a temporary contract" I told him. I thought hard and the document popped into my hand. "I’m afraid you wouldn’t be entitled to membership of the pension scheme, or a parking space at INNER headquarters or be able to use the 5% discount in participating stores at the Central City Plaza."

"I accept that" said John 2.0.

"Then please sign and initial here, here, here and here" I directed. He did so. "John Manly the Second, I officially designate you a contracted mineralogical consultant to and on board the SS Pioneer and hope you will serve with distinction, loyalty and dignity."

"Dammit, Butch, it’s an honour. Put it there." He offered me his hand and crushed my attempt at a friendly shake. "Sorry, Butch, I don’t know my own strength yet."

I gave Carol Richmond a look. I’d never taken her for a woman who values raw masculine attributes in a man. Certainly John 1.0 never displayed any.

"How is the machine coming along?" I asked, giving Fingers a pat on the back which was entirely motivational and which was regrettably misinterpreted as an attempt to smash his head into the desk.

"I have done everything I can" he said, rubbing his forehead. "There is one small snag though."

"There are no small snags – only opportunities for medium scale reassessment of our priorities matrix" I told him.

"I cannot imagine the minerals necessary to power my device. Only the man John knows how to conjure them up."

We turned to John 2.0 and gave him the floor. He shuffled uncomfortably and stared at his feet.

"Go on" I encouraged. "Make minerals appear."

"I can’t" he said.

"Why not?"

"Dammit, Butch, I’m a fictional mineralogist not a real mineralogist. Carol Richmond created me from her memories of the man John 1.0 and since she knows nothing about minerals, I know nothing about minerals."

"I think" I began, "we’ve run up against another opportunity for medium scale reassessment of our priorities matrix."

"You mean a snag?" demanded Carol.

"Yes – a snag" I conceded. "And an opportunity for medium scale reassessment of our priorities matrix."