Star Date : The 28th Century

Dear Diary,

I convened the second staff meeting of the day and explained the position.

“I recalibrated the molybdenum detector and it began registering precious metals on the surface of Maitlandia” I explained. Carol Richmond was about to speak but I silenced her with a look.

“I thought it was the telegram which told us about the gold and gems” she said, misunderstanding my silencing look and passing me the plate of ship’s biscuits.

“That merely confirmed my suspicions” I replied cleverly. “This planet is a rich one and you and the man John must go down and conduct a scientific survey.”

“Just a scientific survey?” asked the man John, appalled.

“Just a scientific survey” I clarified. “But take some of the large sample cases in the event that you need to bring a lot of material back to the ship in order to properly survey it scientifically.” I tapped my nose conspiratorially and Fingers passed me a tissue to go with my unwanted plate of biscuits.

“I’ll take Paul down to the surface” said the man John. “It’s my lucky shuttle craft.”

“Ah” I began. “You can’t. Paul has been mislaid.”

“How can you mislay a shuttle craft?”

“It must’ve happened while the Sensorites were in control of our minds. We weren’t responsible for our actions. I dare say it will turn up.”

“Dammit, Butch, I’m a mineralogist not an optimist. If the shuttle has gone then it’s gone for good, dammit. I’ll have to take George instead.”

We agreed an agenda for their mission along with a revised budget which assessed how many crates of scientific samples they would need to bring back in order to finance the venture. I gave the man John a supportive pat on the back (which triggered an instinctive reflex on his part and it was lucky that I was able to move out of the way).

“Owww” cried Carol Richmond, clutching her eye. The man John looked apologetic and I picked up an imaginary item from the carpet to explain why I had flung myself to the ground.

“A captain’s first duty is to the health and safety of his crew” I explained as I made a great show of putting my imaginary pin into the waste disposal cupboard.

Dear Diary,

No sooner had the man John and Carol Richmond gone down to the surface of Maitlandia than I received another space telegram from the lunatics.

“Dear captain stop planet not actually rich stop all an illusion stop we are prisoners of the giants of noth stop send help stop love stop the lunatics”.

Fingers gasped. “We must do something” he announced.

“Try and raise the man John on the wireless radio” I ordered.

“SS Pioneer calling George… SS Pioneer calling George…”

There came no reply other than the crackling of space static.

“SS Pioneer calling George… SS Pioneer calling George…”

Still more static. Fingers deftly twiddled with the control knob but, aside from a snatch of country and western, he found nothing.

“SS Pioneer calling George… SS Pioneer calling George…”

It was clear that action was required. There was only one thing that we could possibly do.

Minutes of the SS Pioneer Staff Meeting

Date : the 28th Century

Present : Captain Maitland, Engineer (3rd class) Fingers the Sensorite

Apologies : Carol Richmond, the man John

Agenda

1. Minutes of the last meeting.
2. TMJ and CR heading into danger.
3. Any other business.

Minutes

1. All outstanding items carried over to next meeting.

2. CM explained situation re TMJ and CR expecting to find riches but now heading for planet populated by hostile giants. FS suggested rescue attempt. CM will look into it.

ACTION POINT – CM to look into rescue attempt. Will report at next meeting.

3. AOB – Fingers to get TMJ’s bedroom if TMJ is killed on planet, CM to get CR’s personal effects (to take back to Central City).

Next meeting –

Chair – Captain Maitland
Minutes – to be determined.
 

Dear Diary,

I feel a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that we’ve taken action about the John and Carol and the Lunatics and the Giants of Noth situation. I shall take a long bath and consider the matter most carefully. When I am fully lathered up I feel confident that I will be able to come at it from all manner of different angles.

Dear Diary,

My bath came to nothing. But luckily, help was at hand. Fingers was waiting for me when I emerged (ordinarily I would blanch at a crew member seeing me wrapped in towels but these are unusual and exceptional times.) He had good news – he has invented a Telemat which will apparently allow us to emit ourselves down to the planet’s surface, rescue the man John and Carol Richmond and then we can emit back up to the ship while the man John takes care of INNER property and flies back in George. The even better news is that the Telemat is entirely powered by solar magnetic radiation (of which there is apparently plenty in space) so it won’t need to come out of the ship’s electricity budget. We were unable to test it right away as my hair was still damp and Finger’s said there was a small risk of electrocution. I borrowed Carol Richmond’s hair drier and now we are both ready to emit ourselves down to the planet Maitlandia and an encounter with the Giants of Noth. I’ve just realised that my excitement for the cost-free transportation potential of the Telemat device has overridden my common sense. Why am I going down to the planet’s surface? I ought to stay here and supervise matters from a distance. That’s what I’m trained for. Oh… Finger’s is growing impatient. Unless I can think of an exceptionally good excuse I’ll have no alternative but to put on my Telemat garter and emit down to what I am prepared to concede might actually be the planet Noth.