Curse of Peladon was such a runaway smash hit that the producers just had to go back for more. It’s a rare Doctor Who sequel, its Jon Pertwee’s penultimate adventure, it has a reputation for being six weeks of tedium. It’s the Monster of Peladon.

1. Peladon’s reputation in the production office as an interesting society is based on two things – a misapprehension and the sets taking up too much space in the BBC’s storage vaults.

2. An entire civilisation that is completely dependent upon a mineral deposit found in a hostile place which must be obtained by trickery and violence is of course ridiculous. Which is why Monster of Peladon is such a biting satire on our oil dependence.

3. In episode 6 "Aggedor" appears and destroys two of the miners. A third one runs away like Clive Dunn used to in television’s "Grandad".

4. Why do the people of Peladon worship something they know smells like the lion house at the zoo?

5. The Aggedor machine has two levers – you push one up and one down to make anything happen. Why? Why have two levers when one would suffice? The answer is that it looks better. Hence the enormous "PRESS ME" button they use after mucking about with the two levers.

6. Alpha Centauri. Why? Just why? Nothing clever, nothing biting, nothing about dicks in curtains. Just why? And why twice? Had they started hating the audience?

7. He or she or it wasn’t as good as Vega Nexos and he was killed about two minutes into episode one. Admittedly he was bare chested and hairy in a bad way but we can overlook that. Nor was he wearing any trousers (which was frowned upon but not completely prohibited by the BBC management). Nexos actor Gerald Taylor seems to have been in every Doctor Who story they made before they stopped trying.

8. Eckersley threatens the Doctor with death-by-disco-lights. It’s like Top of the Pops goes postal.

9. The Ice Warriors look weird in colour. Fact.

10. Donald Gee looks weird in kicky black PVC. Fact. Ditto looks kinky in weird black PVC.

11. How can the miners think they’re hard done by when they have air conditioning in the mine? It sounds a lot better than the air conditioning we have at work. In that it can change the temperature of the air. Both ways.

12. Queen Thalira has a bad reputation. She’s not "Elizabeth R’s" Glenda Jackson but equally she isn’t 2007’s Glenda Jackson either. She’s like most monarchs in history – basically rubbish and stupid but knows how to wear a crown and make the odd remark.

13. Everyone on Peladon has silly hair. The miners look like badgers and the Queen has something very unfortunate on her head. And I don’t just mean the crown of Peladon. Maybe that’s why everyone was so keen to place their faith in Eckersley – "him sound – him have one-tone hair."

14. We don’t get the proper Ice Warrior gun noise. The dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub sound which invariably means someone is going to be folded up like a piece of paper. I miss it.

15. It is lucky for all concerned that Eckersley waited until the exact moment they got the sound working on the security system to explain his entire plan and the extent of his treachery to the Ice Lord. A minute or two either way and evil would’ve triumphed as usual.

16. The Doctor’s ability to temporarily regenerate into a younger man during a particularly strenuous fight is a power which is sadly never used again.

17. The Doctor drags Sarah Jane into the Tardis by her ear in the heart-warmingly amusing final scene. If David Tennant had done that to Rose she would’ve been duty-bound to kick him in the balls no matter how jocular it had been. Girl power and all that wank.

18. Alpha Centauri actually says to Sarah "Your people find me frightening". No we don’t – you look like a mouldy roll-on deodorant and sound like Aled Jones.

19. If destroying the sacred mountain with the sonic lance is blasphemous, how is destroying the sacred mountain with explosives not blasphemous? Does it matter that the latter is done in the name of Aggedor? If so, it proves once and for all that religion is nonsense.

20. Pertwee quite clearly says "What the blazes is that?" and not, as some less grown up fans have suggested, something rude. Anyone suggesting Pertwee would spoil Doctor Who by swearing can **** off. Yes, I mean you Cornell.

21. If it is 50 years since Peladon joined the Federation and none of the miners look 50 years old, how come all the miners know what it was like being a miner before Peladon joined the Federation?

22. And this has to be the sorriest Galactic Federation in history. No wonder they were attacked and nearly beaten by Galaxy Five (and that isn’t even a real place).

23. Gebek gives what is supposed to be a clever speech which lets his miners know what plan he and the Doctor have cooked up. Sadly, the miners are thicker than the walls and Gebek’s oratory leaves a lot to be desired so the scene only makes sense because we already know what he means.

24. Alpha says Sarah Jane is of no consequence. Sarah, still having Adventures 33 years later, is allowed to have the last laugh.

Monster of Peladon isn’t really that bad. It ticks along, there is always something going on and it doesn’t try and do anything it isn’t able to do. Everyone always says six part Pertwee stories are too long but I like them. The only problem with them is having to swap tapes over half way through. I want this on DVD as soon as possible. It’s certainly more fun than its shorter and more respected predecessor.