-
It is of course very much a technology driven story. You
really need to know your stuff as Doctor Who’s companions prove when Zoë
and Jamie need to find Radnor. “We could ask the computer” says Zoe. “Do
you know how?” asks Jamie. “I think so” replies Zoe, walking over to
the machine. “Computer – where is Commander Radnor?”
-
Is it really
a good idea to have computers which speak your messages to all and
sundry? Imagine John Witty’s harsh electronic tones blurting out
“Commander Radnor – urgent message received from Online Pharmacy.
Message reads ‘Do you feel embarrassed by your lack of length and
staying power?’ Message ends. Message received from Sluts on Camera.
Message reads ‘Do you want to cum and watch me and my girlfriend getting
nasty in our Jacuzzi?’ Message ends.”
-
Apropos of nothing, I love the incidental music. It’s
plinky and plonky but in a good way.
-
Professor
Eldred aye – he’s a card. He’s also an old man – must be in his
seventies – but it is implied he was at the forefront of rockets when
T-Mat was introduced. Since Miss Kelly is the only person who
understands T-Mat, it suggests either that he was Britain’s top
astronaut well into his sixties or Miss Kelly invented T-Mat before she
entered puberty.
-
Why would a man who hates T-Mat because it destroyed his
beloved rocket programme have a promotional video extolling the benefits
of T-Mat on permanent standby in his private museum? Do you think
Freddie Laker has a BA promotional film playing on a loop in his dining
room?
-
Why does
Eldred give his rocket such a complicated name? “ZA685” seems a lot of
bother when he could just call it “Eldred 1” (if he is vain) or “My
Rocket” (if he takes a leaf out of Microsoft’s book of nauseatingly
patronising naming conventions).
-
Radnor makes
it clear that they stopped spying on Eldred years ago. Eldred is
surprised then that the authorities know about his rocket programme.
Because obviously you’d need the characters from Spooks to spot a rocket
being built in someone’s back garden.
-
For years I
wondered why Radnor describes it as “an iron rocket”. It seemed silly as
iron is hardly the best material with which to build a space ship. I
concede now that he might actually say “an ion rocket”. You said iron, I
say ion. Let’s call the whole thing off.
-
Needless to say, how can there only be one person in the
entire world who understands the system which runs the entire world? Is
Bill Gates the only man who could fix the internet if it broke? Is Brian
Tesco the only one who could sell you groceries if all the tills in the
world went wrong? Is Elvis Presley the only man alive who could save
rock and roll if it died under a tide of boy bands and crap?
-
Speaking of Miss Kelly, why is the world’s number one
genius not afforded a better title than “Miss”? It is bad enough a year
later when the polymath scientist Liz Shaw is only a Miss but Gia Kelly
has literally invented a whole new science. You’d think, at the very
least, that some man would marry her and make her a Mrs.
-
There are many things about Miss Kelly that don’t quite
make sense. Such as her decision to do that peculiar countdown as the
rocket prepares to take off. Thirty… twenty six… twenty two… eighteen…
fourteen…? That just ain’t right.
-
Equally, why has she chosen to employ someone to click
their fingers as she moves from one screen shot to another? Either that
or some beatnik has snuck into T-Mat control and digs her groovy
supervision.
-
Apropos of
nothing (part two) a woman has just walked past me who looks just like
Wendy Padbury.
-
A new companion was supposed to be introduced during this
adventure. One imagines Jamie wouldn’t have gone with them in the rocket
because he is a backwards savage and had only just learned about g-force
and would never have been seen again. The Doctor and Zoë would’ve met
“Nick” on the moon and Jamie would’ve gone out of their lives with all
the drama of a wet Dodo.
-
When
discussing the fault, one of the technicians says “We’ve even checked
the computer”. I love how he makes this point to show how thorough their
investigation has been. Major piece of technology broken – you’d
obviously have to go into it in some considerable depth to reach the
computer.
-
The
conversation must’ve gone “We can only afford one Ice Lord helmet but we
need two Ice Lord characters. What should we do?” / “Have you considered
sticking glitter on it?” / “Wouldn’t that undermine the authority of the
Grand Marshall?” / “I don’t think so.”
-
It is noted that they gave up training astronauts “years
ago”. Presumably they also gave up making clothes suitable for space
flight as they don’t seem bothered by Zoë wearing leather, the Doctor in
baggy trousers and a bow tie, and Jamie in a KILT~!
-
Speaking of which, he says “I know all about this
g-force”. Hopefully he was also told about zero gravity and borrowed a
pair of stout undergarments. McTackle floating around for several days
scarcely bears thinking about. Unless you want to think about it. I can
wait.