Inferno

When a story comes out on DVD the digital format allows one to appreciate it in a whole new light. Clearer picture, informative commentary, a wealth of extra material. Truly a step up from the tired old formats of yesteryear. Much like this column really. On with the Things.

  1. We start out with a fairly simple question – if the Royal Family were executed some time in the 1940s, who the heck knighted Sir Keith?

  2. And while we’re at it, Sir Keith Gold seems rather too Jewish to become a highly ranking person in a fascist state.

  3. People in the UNIT era of Earth’s history are quite at home with video phones, robot drills which are about to penetrate the planet’s crust and manned missions to Mars and yet they are staggered at the sight of remote controlled garage doors. We look back and wryly note that only one of the above is now advertised during daytime telly.

  4. Say what you will about the brutal regime, slave labour, republican thuggery and general nastiness of the fascistic Britain of the parallel world but Petra was able to become a doctor there while she only managed to be a secretary in the "proper" world.

  5. This is a general season 7 irritant – why is Doctor Elizabeth Shaw always called "Miss Shaw"? Would it kill them to occasionally call her by her proper title? I mean, you can show your long, slender, gorgeous legs off and still retain an air of academic seriousness. Probably.

  6. I know I wouldn’t but what about you – would you like to have your name immortalised as a gas?

  7. Especially if you suffer from a digestive complaint like Professor Stahlman. Stahlman’s Gas might easily be a symptom as well as a source of cheap energy. It’s certainly a source of cheap gags.

  8. I was once corrected on this point by an eminent telehistorian but I’m sticking to my belief that Big Brother is actually Frank Muir. Even at his most harsh he’d make a cuddly and witty dictator. You wouldn’t mind the brutality so much if it was delivered with an educated twinkle.

  9. Why does dear old Peewee pronounce continuum as "con-tin-eee-um"? I expect they would’ve got a smug letter of complaint in (see later chitinous anecdote) except no one could find anything to rhyme with continuum.

  10. Some have argued that the Doctor’s apparent fondness for the Royal Family means he’s a dyed in the wool, establishment loving, Tory supporting, old right wing curmudgeon. I prefer to think he’s not keen on innocent people being shot to death. But that’s just me.

  11. Only the British could have thirty years of hard fascist rule and still only be a few hours more efficient than the rambling, free, happy old Britain of our universe. I bet their buses are still late.

  12. The Primords are generally regarded as looking very silly but I think they’re ok – I’ve seen worse. I’ve seen a lot worse. They’re quite sensible compared with, say, the Monoids or the Engelbert Humperdinck lookalike in Underworld.

  13. Except of course for this clip. Don’t ever show this to anyone.

  14. The dark, nylon bob – which looks like it is plonked on her head every morning and any way round will do – is a bad wig even by Liz Shaw’s standards.

  15. The Doctor gives a demo of his console to alt-Brig and alt-Liz. When he and the console disappear the Brigade Leader pulls out his gun. Who was he going to shoot? The only person in the room that he was afraid of had just vanished.

  16. One trifling little story point is that – and I’m sure the always scientific Mr Letts checked this out thoroughly before hand to ensure authenticity – there is green slime at the bottom of the Earth’s crust. This slime, if touched, turns people into comedy dog men with no obvious purpose in life. I think this is nothing more than a classic example of the old Hollywood writers’ adage "If the script is lookin’ short, stick in some green slime that turns people into dog men and you’ll get paid in full".

  17. In interviews, Uncle Barry and Uncle Terrance have bemoaned the seven-part stories they inherited from the previous regime. They argue that seven episodes is far too long and it is enormously hard work to keep the story going over seven weeks. So the first thing they did is scrap the format and replace it with the much easier six-part story. They’re a piece of piss.

  18. The DVD commentary is a thing of joy – how could it not be with Uncle B, Uncle T and the Brig, all together and all telling the anecdotes that have kept them in conventions for twenty years. I was particularly pleased so hear Terrance’s "Just for once I’d like to meet an alien that wasn’t immune to bullets" story. He gets that in every single commentary and I still love it.

  19. One slightly unfortunate commentary quirk is that Barry spends episodes one and two telling us that Douglas "Dougie" Camfield was supposed to direct the entire story but only did the location filming and the first part of the studio shoot before falling seriously ill and being replaced by the versatile Mr Letts. This fact was fair hammered home so it was hard not to chuckle when John Levene came in to do part three and spent most of the episode saying things like "Look at that– that’s classic Camfield". Eventually, fifteen minutes in, someone obviously clued him up and he does a bit of wriggling.

  20. Nicholas Courtney makes a funny noise during one of Barry’s technical anecdotes. I don’t know if it is a random note of agreement or your actual burp. Listen for yourself.

  1. Some of you will find the reference to "Batman at the Controls" amidst the chaos caused by a colossal bore and a bunch of unexpected eruptions to be pre-emptive irony at its finest. The rest of you can go back to the Courtney belch and have another listen.

  2. I'm ever so slightly scared at what the alternative universe Captain Yates would've been like.

  3. The glitter ball transition between universes adds a touch of glamour to proceedings and helps the viewer forget the horror that is unfolding. Sadly, this no longer works as so many people associate glitter with Mariah Carey.

  4. The good old eye-patch story. So often told, still great. Imagine how rubbish it would've been had Courtney turned around and everyone had big scars down their faces. Or if they were all dressed in tight beige shirts. I think we have to give them credit for picking the right thing to impersonate.

Now head over to the movies page and watch the new Inferno video. I don't just throw these updates together at random you know.

Yes I do.