How many beans make five?

I've been enjoying a lot of Pertwee of late. It genuinely amazes me that Ambassadors of Death isn't considered a classic by fans. The seven episode season seven story which fits neatly between the seven parter with the rubber men and the seven parter with two of everyone. Seven parts is a lot of Pertwee especially when watched in a bedtime loop. I had sat in ignorance for years about how this wasn't one of the greatest stories of all time according to "fandom". In The Tournament it came up against Inferno and I really thought this was a clash of the titans. I was laughed out of Skaro by the populace and their anti-Ambassadors stance. But I love it and here's why.

  1. I'm not quite sure why they decided to show us in every episode that General Carrington was the traitor and then use this revelation as the final cliff-hanger of the serial.

  2. Dr Taltalian has a French accent in studio but an English one on location filming.

  3. He also has the worst glue on beard in Doctor Who until Anthony Ainley became The Master in 1981.

  4. And his scream when he gets blown up is bizarre and fairly girlie.

  5. Britain having a space programme. You have to chuckle.

  6. Pertwee wears a very vulgar dressing gown. For the king of velvet smoking jackets, frilly shirts and bow ties to wear something which stands out for its awfulness is quite an achievement.

  7. The moment where the Doctor's decontamination room is filled with gas, Pertwee croaks "Gath" and then drops to the floor in like a puppet whose strings have all snapped at once.

  8. Liz is in with the aliens, sees one of their faces, flees in terror, bangs silently on the window for ten seconds before simply walking out of the door. Given the choice, wouldn't you have simply escaped rather than calling on murderous criminals to assist you in escaping?

  9. The disfigured alien appears to be wearing a wig that Julian Glover would later wear in City of Death.

  10. Pertwee gets to gurn. Hurrah.

  11. That music. There is so much funky music over the course of seven episodes. Admittedly most of it is the same but it is a shame it was never released commercially.

  12. There is the contradiction that they try to portray a fairly "realistic" version of space travel on the one hand but also have the extremely strange non-science of "transmigration of objects", the van which changes via stop-go animation and Liz being set into the future because she's "standing there".

  13. UNIT riding into battle in Bessie is worth the price of admission on its own.

  14. The aliens touch is fatal. But you watch early on - one of them pushes one of the baddies to the ground without harming him.

  15. When the Doctor asked the astronauts "What is the capital of Australia?" what would he have done if they'd gone "Sidney... no no... Melbourne... shit... I know this one..."

  16. As a point of personal significance, watching my Who on UKGold and VHS meant that I wasn't used to cliffhangers taking a week to be resolved. So when UKG split Ambassadors over two Sundays I was haunted for a whole week by the magnificent ending to part four.

  17. Such a shame that the video release shows us that the ending of part four was reshot for part five with all the danger removed. Bah! What a swizz.

  18. The female technician at space control wears way too much eye makeup. I don't know how she could be trusted to watch monitors when those eyelashes alone must weigh twenty pounds.

  19. If it had been made today they would've used Davina McCall instead of John Wakefield for authenticity. Euww.

  20. In episode one's raid on the warehouse, Carrington tells his men not to harm the UNIT troops unless absolutely necessary... shortly before he lures them into the room in which he's just activated a time bomb.

  21. A time bomb that appears to be made out of cardboard.

  22. A worldwide triangulation to find the baddies reveals that they are... seven miles away. Obviously.

  23. Ronald Allen is either very good or very bad - I can't for the life of me work out which.

  24. Twenty three points before we reach Liz Shaw's groovy hat? I must be slipping. Right... Liz Shaw wears a groovy hat. And a knitted mini dress. And I'm sure Pertwee looks up her skirt at one point. Mind you, who wouldn't?

So I adore Ambassadors of Death but unlike the Colonies in Spaces, Sensorites, Space Museums and Time Monsters of this world I love it because Ambassadors of Death is really good. Not so bad it's good, actually good. It's just that it's in the middle of the best season they ever made and it lasts about as long as February.