With it's nonsensical title, "Greeks Bearing Gifts" foists a lesbian tendency on the character of Toshiko, and unfortunately that's what it will probably be most remembered for. A shame, because it's muddled in with an unwanted crush on Owen (why does everyone find him so dishy?) and this aside it's a great episode. It's not actually bad that she's now suddenly a lesbian - it gives the lovely Tosh a chance to shine alongside the icon-like giving-it-her-all presence of Danielle Denby-Ashe, now unrecognisable as the one-time dowdy Sarah Hills in "Eastenders" (that Naoko Mori sparkles alongside such a charismatic turn is to her credit). But it seems like everyone is bisexual in "Torchwood" these days. Newsflash! Some people only prefer one sex.

The relationship is handled touchingly though, and is framed by another gorgeous 'alien gadget' plot device in the shape of the pendant which can read thoughts. The attempt to explore the traumatic nature of suddenly discovering what everyone REALLY thinks about you (along with Mary's sensible and sensitive warning that these are just subconscious thoughts, and therefore more "complex" than simple opinions) is to be applauded, though why oh why did Tosh stamp on the thing at the end? Surely she had a duty to science, if not to house buyers, romantics and people using estate agents to keep alive the ability to read minds? Being privy to various characters (including lots of walk-ons) thoughts provided the humour to the episode, such as Gwen's meandering musings like "oh sweetheart, the jeans and the boots thing has really kind of had its day!".

In fact, the mystifying absence of Captain Jack aside (considering it was billed as "his" spin-off, you'd think John Barrowman had been busy making another series across town throughout the whole of "Torchwood"'s run) this was a classic episode, both in the sense of being accomplished and typical of the series. Let's run down the checklist - there was a mysterious character who turned out to be a CGI alien, one of the regulars had a throwaway shag, there was some gory bits with hearts being pulled out and everyone was fighting over a bit of alien hardware with very convenient powers. But this was elevated by the key players - Mori and Denby-Ashe, and a great story about the alien inhabiting the body of a whore who then lives for 200 years. Quite why it had taken her this long to decide to steal back her transportation device was a bit of a plot hole, however. And wasn't it a bit harsh of Jack to send her into the heart of the sun?

The only other flaw was the direction, which was somewhat distracting. Imagine if real life was like "Torchwood" - you'd be wandering round Asda doing the shopping and suddenly SCHWOPP! you'd quicken up for five seconds while the world spun round for no reason. SCHWOPP! There it goes again. Real life doesn't have moody camera tilts at random points, so TV shouldn't either!

This aside, "Greeks Bearing Gifts" was above average sci-fi thriller fodder.

John Barrowman Sit-On-My-Face-O-Meter:

You read my mind! Hardly any Jack this week, so a low SOMF score.

Torchwood Tally:

Above average story with some heartbreaking central performances.