Doctor Who - Children in Need Special

In the midst of all the furious debating, hair pulling and effeminate slapping, I have elected to be the voice of reason and decide, based on nothing but THE FACTS, what the elected title for this new slice of Doctor Who should be. The first thing I did immediately after the new episode had aired (aside, of course, from stopping my four DVD recorders and clearing up the patches of excitement wee off the carpet) was to nip down to Caversham and spend the night pouring over the mountains of documentation in order to obtain THE TRUTH. In the end I was searching the unlikely location of Russell T Davies' bin in Cardiff and there it was, scribbled on the back of a curry stained copy of Attitude - "Doctor Who - A New Hop". From this day forth I declare that to be the ONLY acceptable title for this episode, with an honourable exclusion for scholars who are allowed to call it by its (in my opinion slightly cuter) production title - POO7.

There were a few things for fans that marred this otherwise beautiful new episode of Who. First off was the odd broadcast slot. Well, there wasn't actually a slot as such, you just had to tape five hours of Terry Wogan and hope for the best. Those of us actually out that evening had an even greater job (yes, I'm aware of the treachery but "Doctor Who's on!" was pushing it as an excuse at family gatherings back in May. "Three minute's of Doctor Who is on!" held even less bargaining power last night). Next was the annoying sporadic presence of a telephone number and eyepatched mascot on screen throughout. Just how DID we escape so lightly with "Dimensions in Time"? That was fourteen minutes and not an inanely grinning tubby intruder throughout (well, not unless you count Colin Baker). Lastly was the unique and dissettling realisation that the first time we would meet the new Doctor proper, that most sacred of moments, would occur not on an exciting Saturday evening in the Spring at the foot of 45 minutes of carefully scripted meanderings... but on "Children In Need". A bloody telethon! I was concerned. Would we have to forever remember David Tennant's first words, alongside the greats like "Change my dear!" and... er... "Why Is A Mouse When It Spins?", as "Thanks Terry, and don't forget to give generously!"?

And then there was THAT trailer. He looked just a little mad didn't he? A little... over the top. Based on these two seconds of new Who I began to lose respect for the new Doctor in a way that frankly hadn't happened since the opening of "The Twin Dilemma" back in 1984. Perhaps nobody on the new production team remembered what a mistake it had been in that story to make the Doctor all violent and nasty, and were about to try the same trick again. Viewers just wouldn't take to this hammy, mad new Doctor and ratings for "The Christmas Invasion" would slump as a result, millions tuning out because "it was that rubbish one from Children In Need wasn't it?". The second series might even yet be scrapped, shunted to Sunday mornings and axed because of the poor appreciation figures "A New Hop" had gained. Doctor Who was doomed.

Except, of course, that it wasn't. Or isn't. Because those seven minutes of Who (well, one and a half minutes if you don't count the full opening titles or the recap - it was so short that the recap before "The Christmas Invasion" might even have to include the recap before "A New Hop" as well) were so heart-stoppingly perfect that one's appetite couldn't help be whetted for what's to come at Christmas and next year. It was simply a reminder of the kind of wit, invention and freshness that's been missing from our screens since Doctor Who finished. It even managed to make me laugh as much as the whole of "Little Britain" the other night. Earlier companions have looked slightly surprised when their long-time friend suddenly changes his complete physical form, in the manner one usually reserves for realising that there are two Eastenders on that night instead of one. In one previous New Doctor Episode the shock of the moment was all but forgotten because Sergeant Benton came in to report that some electronic parts have been nicked or something. But somebody actually sat down and thought about this one - how would YOU react? Would what you say? How would you feel if it happened FOR REAL? You would, that someone pondered, probably opt for denial first, before perhaps a cautious acceptance and then complete opposition to this intruder, the brash newcomer who has taken away your friend.

And then there was the new Doctor himself - too early to rank him alongside the best yet of course (although I bet at least one person out there has hailed him as Fourth Favourite Doctor of All Time, just better than Peter Davison) but what we saw showed promise. Mercurial, manic... hang on, these are just words really aren't they? I'll be calling him Edwardian and Pixie-like next. You can't sum up a person with buzzwords. You saw him for yourself. And just as the Doctor check-listed all his new body parts (weight, moles, teeth and all) we can optimistically have reasonable hope that this new incarnation isn't weighed down by too many lumpy character flaws - he's yet to strangle Rose, play the spoons or ask for an Edwardian Roadster, and that's got to be a good thing. Not that I'm past-Doc bashing you understand, but best this newcomer has his own, perhaps more subtle, quirks and needs. And he does hop! You can see kids this morning hopping! Probably. Perhaps this'll be the new Doctors "thing" - hopping around the Universe. TV columns of the future will now talk about "The fourth Doctor with his jelly babies, the Cricket loving Peter Davison and the Hopping Tenth Doctor". Anyway, like a new kiddie at the nursery, we think he'll settle in just fine if left to get on with it.

But I haven't mentioned the real genius of "A New Hop" yet. And here it is: it WASN'T a new episode. At all. Nobody tried to cram in a rip-roaring adventure, Liz Shaw and the cast of Eastenders into these seven minutes (that would just be silly). Instead, we got a little extra screen time with which to wrap up the events of "Parting of the Ways" - and what production team or writer would turn down a bit of extra screen time? In addition, it neatly cleared away the debris from that tale, meaning that at Christmas time we won't have to bother with all that "You've changed!" business or spend time trying to get out of going to Barcelona. Doctor Who wins again. AND the show does its bit for charity, reminding viewers it still exists in the process. AND we got, basically, one prime-time seven minute trailer for next months new episode. That's what it was! A trailer! RTD mugged the Beeb by appearing to offer them a new episode, but actually grabbing the chance to promote the new wares and HE ended up looking like the generous one! Clever eh?