
100,000BC
The beginning. We know how perfect the
very first Doctor Who story is, even if nobody can actually tell you what
happens in three quarters of it. It doesn't matter - the majesty of the
opening twenty five minutes makes up for it all. As you grow older more
and more of the 'magic' of Doctor Who fades away as awestruck imaginings
over colour "Keys of Marinus" pictures and wondering when the titles
changed becomes knowing that you'll never see "Marco Polo" and working out
during which story Pertwee shagged Manning. But the very fact that Doctor
Who's first episode is so utterly, heartstoppingly perfect (in the same
way "Bohemian Rhapsody" is a perfect song, it is so good it becomes
incomparable with anything else within its alleged genre) remains the one,
irrefutable bit of magic that won't ever be transcended by the cold harsh
realism of growing up and learning more.
I sometimes wonder if actors ever know
that a bit-part they earned six guineas for on a rainy week in the sixties
means so much to some people. A few of them do, of course, and have been
graciously milking the cow of fan kindness for decades. But the unlucky
ones who died before the first Doctor Who fan graduated to ownership of a
credit card and some ham-fisted organisational skills were buried in happy
ignorance of the absurd hero worship that was to come.
I once had a friend who was obsessed
with Eileen Way, the actress who played Old Mother in "100,000BC". "There
shall be no fire!" became his catchphrase, and he actually used to call
himself Eileen, which was a shame as he happened to be a twenty one year
old homosexual. There were others in his life of course (he once cleared a
train with his impression of Lady Remmington) but Eileen was his
favourite. I can recall being round his house and him excitedly showing me
her last ever tv performance, which he'd managed to track down, some awful
Children's TV series in which she played a trademark old hag. I mean not
to mock - I think it's lovely that the old woman, who appeared in just a
handful of Doctor Who episodes, is loved and remembered by someone.
I have the same thoughts when I read
Out of the TARDIS in DWM (I still think I was personally responsible for
the change in format of that long-running column when I tactlessly
complained to the editor about the worthlessness of being told appearances
of Doctor Who actors that you'd missed on the telly). Who else would care
that Second Saracen On The Left from "The Crusade" has died, aged 93, in
Bermondsey. Who else would organise a memorial day for Doctor Who bit-part
and Voice Of Mr Kipling Cyril Shaps, or actually have his day ruined by
learning of the news that Ann Tirard had passed away (that was me by the
way)? If you're in Doctor Who, you're special to someone.
I don't think I'll ever see "100,000BC"
again without Old Mother being infinitely more than a dull old woman in a
couple of Doctor Who's most forgotten episodes. The best characters to
hijack are the ones nobody else wants. Which, in a cack-handed way, brings
us back to the appeal of this shimmering, faded, beautiful old Doctor Who
opener. Like Eileen, it means so much to so many, for different reasons.
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