New Year’s Eve in Japan

Looking at the New Year’s Eve TV schedules I see nothing to match the good old days of Clive James. He was superb (albeit with the uncomfortable air of a seasonal show filmed well in advance). His reviews of the year were very amusing and on playback today still are. Angus Deayton took over when Clive went to ITV to retire and his shows were less good. Some good jokes but also those segments where a current media darling or cheap (I mean “up and coming”) comedian comes on and does some well rehearsed banter with Comrade Deayton. Nowadays there is nothing to watch. Oh I know that most people are supposed to be out and enjoying the celebration of the moment that ensures work for the seasonal staff of Calendar Club and that the ever dwindling number of cheques written will have crossings out on them for at least a fortnight. But plenty of people can’t be bothered to go out. Plenty of people stay in and the menu on offer is pish. No one bothers in the slightest.

They do in Japan. This year though it will be bizarre and insane. I am no expert but I’ve learned enough about it to know that there is a musical concert on one of the main networks. It’s the Japanese equivalent of the Superbowl in terms of ratings. It’s huge. Like a Royal Wedding or a cheap and tacky lesbian kiss in one of the more desperate soap operas. It would be madness to put anything big opposite it because it would get crushed.

Things will get crushed alright. Like skulls and ribs and eye sockets.

Two or three years ago one of the rival networks went to Japanese fighting entrepreneur Antonio Inoki and asked him to put a live show together for New Years Eve. Inoki – also a politician in Japan and a man with a proven track record of doing more harm than good – enlisted the help of various kickboxing, mixed martial arts and pro wrestling companies and put on a huge show. It didn’t beat the concert in the ratings but it took a big chunk out of it. It was the most successful opposition show in a generation and the die was cast.

It made a huge star out of a huge American called Bob Sapp. He is a phenomenon in Japan. Like David Beckham only harder. There are shops which sell Bob Sapp merchandise and nothing else. You can’t move for Bob Sapp adverts and chat show appearances and the like. They are working on putting Bob Sapp vs Mike Tyson together for a future show. That’ll either make or break him. To deviate for a moment, Sapp is a big and scary looking dude but I’ve seen one fight of his and a pale and skinny Croatian (Mirco Cro Cop as he’s known) made Bob scream like a girl in less than 30 seconds. And yet Bob is still a huge star.

So this New Years Eve wrestling/kickboxing/martial arts show because a regular fixture. Huge ratings from the combat crazy Japanese fans meant that other networks wanted a piece of the action. Which is what led to this year’s amazing scenario. Four networks. One pop concert. Three wrestling/kickboxing/martial arts shows. Three live fighting shows on one night. The competition has become bloody (no pun intended). The downturn in the Japanese economy, the lack of new stars and Inoki’s scheming have ensured that the Japanese fighting scene is very fragmented. Instead of big companies who exist within themselves and have their fighters signed to exclusive contracts (as is the case in the USA) the whole business is a mish mash of one night deals, X fight contracts, loyalty to one TV network, contracts with agents, gyms, teams and more. The shows are being changed on an hourly basis as the networks and promoters fight it out for talent, threaten lawsuits and engage in dirty tricks campaigns. The one fight that looks certain sees Bob Sapp face Japan’s greatest living Sumo legend in a mixed martial arts match. That basically means they can hit, kick and grapple with each other and the fight ends by KO, submission or stoppage. In the desperate battle for ratings it has become a freak show. We have women fighting under these rules (remember these are, for the most part, REAL fights except where both participants are pro wrestlers), we have a 160lb martial artist against 390lb American boxer Butterbean. The promotion for these events is incredible – no network wants the humiliation of coming last – and money is being thrown around like water. It’s also worth mentioning that each of the three shows is coming from an Old Trafford sized arena and two of them are being shown (sans network adverts) on Pay-per-view.

It’s hard to comprehend what’s going on as we sit here in Blighty and try to decide which party to go to, which DVD to watch or which bottle to blot out the awfulness of life with. I think I’d rather be in Japan.

30th December 2003