
Disc Three - Digital Versatile Hopes
DVDs
are still relatively recent a development. It’s only five or so years
since they were a small section, huddling together for warmth, at the back
of HMV. A player was a luxury and change out of four or five hundred
pounds would’ve seemed like a distant dream. So it isn’t surprising that
there are lots of things that haven’t yet been released. I flatter myself
that my ear is, if not actually on the ground for fear of germs and
chewing gum, then certainly close to the ground. I have a reasonable grasp
of what is in the pipeline. Not only does this influence what I sell
online and what I earmark the proceeds for but also it delights and
frustrates me in more or less equal measures. There are certain things I
would like to see released. This particular essay focuses on the things
that could be realistically released tomorrow had the right people the
right idea. Things that have equivalent shows already in release (often
already in the sales) and so wouldn’t look as out of place or out in space
as things mentioned elsewhere in this boxed set of missives. As ever the
list isn’t in any kind of order. Just as and when things come to me. I
know I make this writing lark look like a science but it does, believe it
or not, generally just happen in a heap.
A Bit of Fry and Laurie
One paltry edited and
occasionally disjointed video cassette release is all that this
masterpiece has to show for its existence. It played a couple of years ago
on Paramount so it can’t be that either a Fry or a Laurie are barring its
release as they pursue altogether less studio bound careers. I’ve written
elsewhere about this series and how good it is so I won’t repeat myself
here. Shows like the Young Ones – which was revolutionary at the time and
is iconic today but has not aged well – and French and Saunders – which
was never funny despite what the hype machine tells you – are out on DVD.
Modern "hits" (by which they mean two million viewers on BBC2 and then
endless loops on BBC3 and/or UKGold) are shunted onto disc before they’re
cold. But no one – not the BBC and not an enterprising company like, for
example, Network – has yet released even one series of (fingers) A Bit of
Fry and Laurie (end fingers). Commentaries would be nice but one wouldn’t
be too upset if Ste and Hu were too busy being international to come and
record them. Deleted scenes may exist – the books are full of them – but
they too would be the icing on a very rich cake. Sketch shows that stand
the test of time are rare. This is one of them, it stars two eminently
famous people and I don’t believe it contains anything which would present
a rights problem. Its absence is going from conspicuous to inexplicuous.
"Inexplicable", technically, but inexplicuous fitted the sentence better
and what is the use of a good language if you can’t change it?
La Femme Nikita
Watching the first episode
of "Alias" this afternoon I was reminded about how good La Femme Nikita
was. It was on late on a Friday night on the fifth channel and always had
the stigma of being an American TV remake of a French film which was far
better, obviously, because it was French and it was the original. I
haven't yet seen Nikita but I do know that LFN was a damn good series – at
least for the two seasons I watched it – and combined the high octane
excitement of a Buffy or Alias with the incarcerated hopelessness of The
Prisoner and the high tech geek-appeal of James Bond. Seeing as shows like
Alias – dropped by Sky One for low ratings and now on Bravo – has been a
hit on DVD why not La Femme Nikita? I understand it had some problems
towards the end and the final season was a short wrap up instead of a full
six month job but while it was fresh it was awesome.
Anna Lee
Now here’s a series of TV
movies which vanished without trace. Imogen Stubbs starred as Lisa Cody’s
private detective heroine in what I remember as fairly liberal adaptations
of the novels. A series of books which is possibly unique as I’ve actually
read the whole set. There was a pilot – Headcase – and then a run of (I
think) five TV movies. Things changed between the pilot and the series –
Stubbs’ was made a lot less glam and sexy (sadly) – but they were still
very good productions. They’ve never surfaced on ITV's channels or
"classic" TV stations, never been released on video and no one seems to
remember them. It was ten years ago – I remember being in upper sixth at
the time and Imogen Stubbs was just about the only person who could be
thought of in the same quivering breath as my darling Clare – and it’s
about time it was unearthed. Alas it seems to be too obscure to be a
mainstream release and not quite obscure enough to be a cult release. Or
rather it’s too new to be a "classic" and too old to be "modern". Maybe
one day Imogen will have a huge film or TV hit and companies will be
falling over each other to cash in. That’s about the only hope we have of
ever seeing Anna Lee on DVD.
Virtual Murder
Now here’s a title that
comes up every time anyone starts a thread like this on a message board.
Fondly remembered, never repeated and now burdened with the reputation of
being an early 90s version of The Avengers. There have been some critical
voices – those fortunate enough to have copies of the six produced
episodes – but for the rest of us it remains an enigma. I remember two
things about it – neither of which I’m entirely sure was in it. One was
Jon Pertwee as some kind of gypsy or possibly an old sea dog. The other
was Hywel Bennett doing something sleazy. But the fact that I remember the
series without prompting (and fancy Kim Thompson too) make it a good
candidate for my wish list.
Chalk / Joking Apart
Steven Moffatt is the
single best comedy writer we have right now. His current energies are
being directed at Coupling and the revival of some creaking old series on
BBC1 from the olden days. We are also slowly but surely seeing his first
(some say best) work coming out in the form of Press Gang. But in between
the adventures of Jules’n’Dexter and the Chronicles of Jeff were two
series which have the power to make me summon fresh under clothings.
Joking Apart is fondly remembered by the eight people who remember it.
Shown once and then forgotten about by the suits who run television. Not
even the success of Robert "Cold Feet" Bathurst who played the lead could
inspire someone to repeat or release this classic. It had all the Moffatt
trademarks – wit, sex, time manipulation and moments of surreal bliss.
Bathurst once spent an episode talking to a human representation of his
penis. Moffatt then went on to write Chalk – a significant promotion
career wise as this was prime time BBC1. Sadly it seems you cannot do a
school sit com without people protesting about it. Please Sir! got away
with it as it was clear that the "pupils" were older than the teacher and
the series only existed to give Derek Guyler a job. I half remember a Roy
Kinear sit com which was actually pulled off air because it dared to
criticise teachers. Chalk was a masterpiece of farce. Dispensing with the
clever time shifts and instead giving a Fawlty-esque catalogue of
misunderstandings and compromising situations it was achingly funny. There
was a very half hearted attempt to put it out on video but until these two
shows join Coupling and Press Gang on my shelves there will be no justice.
There may be more that I
think of but this is just a selection of the stuff that is sitting in
peoples cupboards and not in mine. Pull your fingers out, for sod’s sake,
and let me spend cash on them. Grrr.
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