"The Pink Panther"

It’s the one with... the fancy dress party at the end.

1962’s "The Pink Panther" was supposed to be a simple light comedy crime caper pitting Peter Ustinov’s bungling detective against David Niven’s suave thief. It became something very different. Ustinov’s pulled out and the internationally unknown Peter Sellers replaced him. This new imbalance between the leads meant Sellers had to fight harder for screen time than Ustinov would’ve and he was able to make every moment count. The bulk of the film sees Niven wooing the Princess – owner of the infamous Pink Panther diamond (so called because it is flawed and if you hold it up to the light you are supposed to be able to see a leaping panther). We know Sir Charles Litton is the notorious "Phantom", Clouseau knows he is the notorious Phantom and even the princess seems to have more than an inkling that Sir Charles can’t be trusted.

Clouseau, meanwhile, goes from place to place falling over things, having doors opened in his face and generally missing most of the obvious. His wife is having an affair with Sir Chales but to Clouseau she is an angel. One who can save enough out of the housekeeping to buy fur coats. His domestic relations do provide the funniest moments when, straight out of a Brian Rix farce, she tries to stop Clouseau finding both Sir Charles and his nephew hiding in their bedroom.

The climax of the film is a triumph. Whatever the rest may lack in incident and high comedy is more than made up for in the princess’s magnificent fancy dress ball. Two gorillas attempt to steal the diamond, Clouseau goes about the place in a suit of armour, they actually make a pantomime horse funny and when Clouseau sets off all the fireworks at once you think the film must’ve peaked. But no – there is the best car chase in all of cinema history to come. They tack on a court room ending (which is forgotten in later films as Clouseau is convicted of being the notorious Phantom) but even that has John Le Mesurier in it so isn’t a complete waste of time.

Overall, it is a film that is worth sticking with because the payoff more than justifies the rather tedious middle of the movie.

"A Shot in the Dark"

It’s the one where… Clouseau gets out of his car and falls into the fountain.

A Shot in the Dark has a curious production history. Originally not intended to feature Clouseau it was based on a play and would’ve been a standalone movie. But various people liked Sellers’ performance in The Pink Panther and he was added to the rewritten movie. Trivia fact – the co-writer was the man who would later write The Exorcist. The two films were shot pretty much back to back and A Shot in the Dark was released only a few months after The Pink Panther.

Sellers is at the fore for the first time as Clouseau and he is magnificent. Even though the old props – Dreyfuss, Kato and the the comic violence which followed from both – all debuted in this movie, it doesn’t feel as cartoony as later entries. Sellers is pompous and ridiculous but never feels like an outsider. He is part of this world in a way he never would be again. He is even vaguely believable as a detective – his hunch that Maria is innocent turns out to be entirely right (even if he believes it because he fancies her not because he has any actual evidence). The film’s running gag – Clouseau keeps releasing her from jail and is arrested every time he tries following her – works extremely well. The siren used by the police van has stayed in my head for the twenty odd years since I first heard it. It is is the perfect comedy siren.

Things take a turn for the worse when they pay a visit to a nudist colony. I once ranted that "Confetti" had nudism but didn’t bother to try and make it funny. A Shot in the Dark uses every nudist colony comedy device it can get its hands on. It isn’t terribly funny but at least they tried. A few years later and it would’ve been shot in a tawdry and titillating way which would’ve been much worse. Once you show the bits, you can never again get laughs from not showing them.

The film climaxes with the revelation of who is the killer. I won't spoil it but it is as good an ending as you could’ve expected from a spoof of the genre. Blake Edwards was no Agatha Christie and yet the ending was clearly dreamed up by someone who knew the genre well enough to replicate it.

It was the high watermark of the series – later films would aim for bigger laughs but none of them would have the consistency of A Shot in the Dark.

"Inspector Clouseau"

It's the one without... Peter Sellers

Now here’s a rarity. The studio wanted a new Clouseau film following the success of the first two. The only snags were that Peter Sellers refused and Blake Edwards refused. Which is a bit of an irony considering the two fell out so badly during A Shot in the Dark that they refused to ever work together again. Inspector Clouseau would go into production without either of its essential elements. Alan Arkin was cast as Clouseau in a film which ultimately had Edwards’ blessing but no direct involvement. So in that regards it is more "On Her Majesty’s Secret Service" rather than "Never Say Never Again".

The film is rarely seen and most people don’t even know it exists. If they ever sort out the rights and release a complete Pink Panther set ("Return" is currently owned by someone else and thus is always released on its own) I doubt Inspector Clouseau would be included. It doesn’t look like a Pink Panther film, it doesn’t feature the famous panther in its opening titles for one thing, and it doesn’t feel like one. The cast is made up of British comedy stalwarts – Frank Finlay, Beryl Reid, Patrick Cargill and so on. It more closely resembles any one of the generic British comedy films of the late 1960s.

Arkin’s performance is usually regarded as pretty good. He is, to my mind, comparable to George Lazenby in the aforementioned OHMSS – sitting as he does between the early Sellers (Connery) and the late Sellers (Moore). Arkin’s accent is heavier than Sellers’ 60s accent but no where near as strong as the 70s version. He plays Clouseau with more arrogance than Sellers had to this point. This is the beginning of Clouseau’s belief that he is the greatest detective in the world.

With the later films becoming influenced by the James Bond franchise, it is a little surprising that they never followed up this film’s use of Bond style gadgets. Scotland Yard give Clouseau a belt buckle which fires bullets, a mini-tape recorder the size of a shoe box and a cigarette lighter with a built in laser. Hilarity ensues as each of these goes wrong in turn and one can only imagine what Sellers could’ve done with a fresh set of gadgets in each film. The closest he came was his disguises and they became tiresome so maybe it is a good thing.

There is also a rather blatant piece of product placement as the stolen money is smuggled out in bars of Lindt chocolate. Cue lots of close-ups of Lindt bars, Lindt trucks, miscellaneous Lindt logos, lots of mentions of Lindt in news bulletins and lots of people buying or stealing Lindt products because they think they contain bundles of cash.

The forgotten film is worth seeing only as a curiosity. The funniest bit is Clouseau playing a child’s game with Frank Finlay on the train and the pair of them becoming increasingly petulant as they believe the other is cheating. Arkin gives a good performance but, as good as he is, he isn’t you know who. It’s more for fans of late 60s British comedy than fans of the Pink Panther