More From the "New Series" Forum

Some weeks ago I compiled a list of questions, ruminations and thoughts from the OG New Series forum. Never one to come up with a new idea when an old idea will do, I've returned to that thriving e-oasis for another helping.

Reprise - without naming names and in a spirit of fairly good natured mocking, I give you the A to Z of the dumbest, strangest and most incomprehensible first posts in the forum. To quality, a post must be the start of a new thread and has not been edited to remove any obvious signs of it being a joke (smilies, winking faces etc).

A is for Aromas

If by some miracle they suddenly invented smellovision what smell do you think the TARDIS would be?

B is for Bitter Americans

Dear UK fans,

You lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky sods.

C is for Car security

In the past when the doctor leaves the TARDIS he would lock it with a traditional "key". Since the new series is going for a more modern look should the Doctor press a button that locks the TARDIS accompanied by the "beep, beep" sound of a "car alarm"?

D is for Decisions decisions

Anyone know if BBC Wales will be featuring a special ident immediately before the opening episode?

In a quandary at the mo: record the BBC1 England tx, or the BBC Wales feed - the spoken intro will be different at least.

E is for Empathising with the soon-to-be redundant

BBC to axe 4000 jobs - how will this affect new series?

F is for Fonts

Is the story-title font on the new series the same as the font used on the titles of the new novels?

G is for Getting down with an artisan

My Electrician is having a party! As a property developer I have used the same electrician for some time now-today he tells me (out of the blue) his family (brother,sister in law,kids etc...) are all getting together to have a party leading up to Doctor Who.

H is for Hour and five minutes

5.55-7.00 tomorrow - What will you be doing for that hour and five minutes between A New Dimension and Rose?

I'm toying with the idea of watching An Unearthly Child from 5.55 to 6.20, then spending 40 minutes checking that the video is working and that its set to BBC1

I is for Intense

Sorry, I cannot come back here. Two posts into my membership, and I have to say goodbye. I wish you guys all the best, and I'll probably record the series to DVD and watch it MAYBE sometime in the distant future, but I cannot watch it tomorrow or in the near future, simply because of Billie Piper.

She, as far as I am concerned, has doorstepped and squatted in a brilliant TV concept I love, and ruined what otherwise would have been a happy day for me tomorrow.

J is for Jumping the gun

The Season 27 Who Awards- Categories

K is for Kicking yourself

I've made a mistake.

I've arranged a date for myself for Saturday afternoon.

Any pubs in central london (Gay or Straight) going to be showing the new doctor who at 7?

L is for Local News

Frazer Hines is on BBC Look North for East Yorkshire and Lincolnshire tonight at 6.30 talking about the new Doctor Who.

M is for Montage or possibly Mental

As the big day nears, I wonder if any of you, like me, have been having any flashback moments.

What I mean by that is, where you are just casually walking along or doing something ordinary in your everyday life and in your head you start to replay your own "montage" of memorable moments from the 26 years of magic, especially in anticipation of the new series.

N is for Name, Forgetting your own

This afternoon I was in the building society, sorting something far too tedious and irritating to go into here. This involved filling in my personal details on a form. Where it asked for Full Name, I wrote, in neat letters, "Doctor Who".

O is for Optimism

What if I was just sitting down to it with my son and there was a power cut. No chance to see it for two hours. Nothing. How devastating would that be? I mean I've managed to avoid the grim reaper just so I can be there and the fates pull this one out of the bag. How cruel is that?

P is for Personal Video Recorders (Sky+ et al)

While he nipped off to the toilet, I sneakily put reminders in his Personal Planner for 'A New Dimension', the episode itself, Confidential and the repeat on BBC3 on Sunday.

Q is for Question… which this actually isn’t

I've a sneeking suspicion that we're about to witness the biggest anti-climax in TV history ?

R is for Ratings, Schemes to boost

I have been emailign everyone I know to see who knows of people with BARB boxes in their front rooms - so i can do my own viewer rigging.

I've come up blank so far.

S is for Schemes to boost Ratings (again)

why doesn't everyone here turn ALL the tellys in the house on for Dr Who - most houses have several tvs - the main one then ones in bedrooms etc etc. Theoretically this could double/treble/quadruple our ratings contributions.

T is for Talking down to people in a condescending and patronising tone (they all mean the same thing you know…)

let's smile and nod at new fans Obi Wan style and not get into "oh, you've OBVIOUSLY never seen the episodes where he has a daughter named Susan..." Or at least... mention these things gracefully. Think of yourselves as ambassadors for the new series!

U is for Unreasonably good weather

“the Met Office today forecast the start of an unseasonably warm spell, possibly lasting until the Easter weekend.”

Could this affect people watching TV on Easter Saturday I wonder?

V is for Vital information

Any word on what production codes will be given to the stories, if any? Unlike in past years, where each story was made as a whole, these episodes seem to be made in blocks of 2-3 episodes, and not necessarily being linked. I will miss our tidy little codes like 6P and TTT. As long as it's not something like CT345/12-3, or something.

W is for Wet dreams

Best dream ever. Well, it took me a while, but I had a dream about the new series!

X is for X-directory (starting Saturday 26th March at 7.44pm)

Anyone know the number of the BBC Duty Office, in case I feel moved to call and register my comments about the return of Doctor Who..?

Y is for Yes but only if they choose to buy it

Do Dr Who fans get ripped off on Merchandising?

Z is for Zaphod Beeblebrox

What to do if you DON'T like the New Series. First of all, in the words of wisdom plastered on the cover of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (in big friendly letters): DON'T PANIC ....and don't despair either. Take a deep breath, count backwards