So, another Arsenal-Man U fixture, another fight and another suspension. Sky Sports must be kicking themselves- the pay per view rights to the food fight would have been worth a fortune. I made the mistake of watching the same fixture last season and didn’t enjoy a minute. OK, United missing a penalty in front of their own fans is funny, but it isn’t fun; although this may be the most anxiously-awaited fixture in the English calendar, it bears about as much resemblance to sitting in the perishing cold watching Tranmere as rugby league does to rugby union. The basic idea’s the same, but the way it’s done is completely different. What worries me is that, according to various referees who were consulted after the game, is that the game is apparently becoming increasingly difficult to referee; more than any other match in the course of the season, it’s less of a football match and more the collision of two limited companies to whom the result is measured less in points and goal difference than in replica shirts sold in Shanghai and Kuala Lumpur.

The fall-out of the latest collision seems to be a three-match ban for Ruud van Nistelrooy; of course, modern Premiership footballers being the cunning breed that they are (or rather, having managers behind them who make an art form out of calculating cycnicism), he accepted the charge and so the first match of the ban is already served- a trivial League Cup encounter with Crewe for which United could comfortably rest half their first team, rather than a potentially more important fourth round tie. Arsenal would, of course, like to live in a world where, having retrospectively agreed that the Dutchman should have been sent off, the FA retrospectively rescind his goal, on the grounds that he shouldn’t have been on the pitch to score it, disallow Rooney’s goal due to the faint whiff of offside about it and dish out a few retrospective yellow cards for excessive celebration for good measure. But at eight points behind in the Premiership, United could win at Highbury and still miss out on the title- the Premiership is won as much at the Hawthorns and St Mary’s as at Highbury and Old Trafford.

What this probably brings closer is the day when a club resorts to the courts to make its point. To give an example of how this might happen: Arsenal, two points ahead at the top of the table, entertain United at Highbury in the last game of the season. The clock is almost on 90 minutes and the trophy is almost certainly going to the Gunners. United launch one last attack; in the scramble, Sol Campbell appears to foul Wayne Rooney. The referee points to the spot, van Nistelrooy dispatches the penalty and before Arsenal can launch another attack, the referee blows for full time. United have snatched the title. But in the next few days, video evidence shows that Campbell didn’t foul Rooney; the generously-built Scouser trapped his studs as he tried to turn and there was no contact. In that split second, the referee made a mistake which cost Arsenal the title and millions of pounds with it. Arsenal get the lawyers in and announce that they’re suing the referee personally for several million pounds which they’ve lost as a result of his negligence. The referee comes home from a hard day’s Geography teaching to find that he could lose everything. The FA panic (after all, having crises is what they’re there for), UEFA decide that Arsenal will be banned from the Champions League if the case goes ahead and FIFA threaten to ban England from international football.