They say, “What goes around comes around”. I think it may be true.

I’ve been quite busy at work recently, nothing too stressful, just busy. It has involved working early mornings, late nights and a few weekends.

Last Tuesday I managed to catch up with my work, so on the Wednesday I decided to follow a great British tradition and, ‘pull a sickie’. I’ve been regretting it ever since.

I had a lovely day lounging around at home on Wednesday. I even watched ‘The Stones of Blood’.

It all started to go wrong on Wednesday evening.

I got my first phone call from Rob an Entertainment Manager who works on one of the ships that has entertainment provided and managed by the company that I work for. I am Robs immediate manager. Rob was calling to let me know that one of the performers (Steve) thought he was having a heart attack and was being rushed to hospital.

I was furious, so far Steve has already had a minor heart attack, hurt his leg, shoulder and mouth. He is a hypochondriac, not sure why he does it. Attention seeking I guess. The ship was currently in Holland and was due to set sail. This would mean that Steve would be stranded in Holland until it returned a couple of days later. All hassle for me to sort out. I asked Rob to call me the following day, and keep me updated with Steve’s progress.

Rob called an hour later. Steve was not in hospital. The paramedics had turned up, assured him that his heart was healthy. If anything, he had a chest infection (cough). The Captain had now got involved and said that he would allow Steve to travel that night, but he must visit the doctor in the UK the following morning and get a certificate to say that he is fit for sea travel.

I had to spend about half an hour speaking with Rob and the ships Purser making all the necessary arrangements.

I went to bed early on Wednesday night, as I wanted to be fighting fit and alert for my return to the office the following morning.

I woke up at 0200 on Thursday morning to discover I had received a couple of text messages from Sue who is an Entertainment Manager on a different ship. She was worried as Craig, (her assistant manager) had not returned to the ship as planned that evening. Craig had got off that day to attend some rehearsals in London. He was meant to be back onboard to sail that night. I tried Craig’s mobile, but there was no answer. I decided there was not much else I could do till I went to work that morning and went back to bed.

Thursday.

I returned to work that morning, not quite as breezy as I would have liked after my disturbed sleep.

I received a call from Barry who is Entertainment Manager on a different ship with news that Pete (one of the ships performers) had resigned giving four weeks notice. This was very bad news indeed. Pete is a great singer and features prominently in the shows. He is very difficult to replace. It’s a real pain too be honest. We have to find a new performer, train him and provide him with new costumes. All very costly and time consuming. I asked Barry to get Pete to call me and explain his reasons for dropping us in the shit! Pete called to say that he was bored! That was it. There was nothing I could say to change his mind.

Sue called. She was very concerned, as Craig had still not appeared. I told her to search the ship in case he got on without telling anybody and tried his mobile again. It was still switched off.

Rob called me to say that Steve had gone to hospital for a check up. I asked Rob to call me as soon as there was any news.

Sue called, with some news. Apparently Craig had called the ship last night and left a message saying that due to faulty trains he had missed the ship. I smelt a rat straight away. There is a good train service from London to Portsmouth; it would have to be seriously disrupted for Craig to have missed the ship. I asked Sue to arrange for Craig to call me as soon as he returned.

I called the rehearsal venue, which Craig had attended on Wednesday. I was told that he left at 1700. That gave him 5 hours to get from Clapham Junction to Portsmouth. A direct train which normally takes around 1h 40 mins. I became even more suspicious that Craig was up to no good.

Rob called. Steve has a chest infection, which can only be treated with a course of antibiotic injections. This would mean that Steve would have to have a couple of days off in the UK. I was somewhat relieved, as I thought that Steve was going to try a leave his contract early on medical grounds. I knew the whole antibiotic injection thing was bullshit, but I decided to let him get on with it and have a few days off.

Craig called. He was sorry he missed the ship, and was very angry with the London Underground and South West Trains. He told me a lovely story about the tube breaking down, and delayed trains. It had been a nightmare for him! When he finished his ‘explanation’ I asked him to go into more detail about the tube problems, and which tube he was on. He started his story again, but was stopped abruptly by myself pointing out that it is a direct over-ground train journey from Clapham Junction to Portsmouth, which does not involve the tube!!!!!! Craig stumbled and blustered and then said, “I didn’t know that the train went direct from Clapham Junction. I had to get the tube to Waterloo. I interrupted him again, pointing out that there is no tube between Clapham Junction and Waterloo. Craig had no answer. I told him to stop lying to me and to tell the truth. He did, he went to meet a girl in London and stayed the night!!!!

Craig received the appropriate bollocking and is on his final warning!

What a day! It was 1800 already. I was due to travel on the Pride of Le Havre that night, so I set off in my car for Portsmouth.

Barry called; there had been a complete failure of the stage lighting in the main entertainment venue. Nobody onboard could get any lights on. It was a busy ship that night; he wanted to know what to do. Between us, we re planned the whole evening in different venues. It meant the entertainment being compromised, but it was the best I could do.

I then had to organise a lighting technician to visit the ship in Hull the following day. All of this was done on hands free, driving down the A3!

Barry called back late that evening to say that the passengers had had a great evening. It had all gone well. The captain had even come down and thanked the entire Entertainment Team for all their extra effort.

My visit on the Le Havre was smooth. Everyone was happy onboard.

What a day! I was delighted to finally get to bed in my lovely Club Cabin.

The ship was due to arrive back in Portsmouth at 1400 the following day. I got a phone signal at around 1300. I had one text three-voicemail messages.

It was not good news. Pete (the performer who had given his notice) had been found drunk the previous night. This is very serious and Pete had been instantly dismissed by the captain.

This meant that the ship was a performer down and rather having four weeks to find a replacement, I had to do it that afternoon.

Normally I would go straight home after visiting a ship, it’s a nice perk. Not yesterday though, I had to go all the way back to the office. Back up the A3, on the phone all the way. I called everyone I knew, looking for a new performer. I hit the Jackpot. A lovely guy called Jamie, who had worked for us previously was available. Great news, I could sort the whole thing out by phone and email. Result!

Back to the office, processed all the emails and got Jamie booked on the ship. Phew!

I was going home for the weekend.

Driving home last night I suddenly had a blinding pain around my left temple. The pain subsided, but the left hand side of my face was left numb. It was pretty scary to be honest. I was driving by St Georges Hospital and went straight to Casualty.

I was seen promptly by a nurse, and then by a doctor. I had to undergo a serious of tests and observations. I was eventually allowed to leave eight hours later. They think I had suffered some kind of migraine attack.

I got home a 0300 this morning.

What a couple of days.

I wonder if it’s pay back for me pulling a sickie on Wednesday?