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What If... part 4
(reprise) In his current best seller, Ric Flair makes
the boast that he could’ve filled Hulk Hogan’s shoes in 1984 and the WWF
would’ve been every bit as successful as it was. People have often debated
whether Hogan was the key to success or just the right man in the right
place at the right time. Hogan believes only he could’ve done what he did,
Vince thinks it was all down to his own genius. So, with this topic once
more of current interest, I thought I’d make a list of ten men who were
around at the time and could, in theory, have been chosen by Vince McMahon
to be the figurehead of the new look WWF.
This week - two insane guys who would've made
interesting champions...
Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka
Pros
He was the most popular man in the WWF in
1983. The fans saw him as the exciting alternative to the then champion
Bob Backlund. While the latter represented bland amateur style wrestling,
Snuka was a fiery and unpredictable islander.
His top tope splash was a revolutionary
move for the era. While we may look at it today and scoff at how easily
our ancestors were pleased it was something people had never seen before
and - more importantly - it probably sold more tickets than today's
infinitely more spectacular and dangerous high spots.
He had the best physique in the company.
Snuka was seriously ripped. Far more defined than Hogan and he had a body
which combined aesthetics and the image of power. He looked like a
mythical warrior with his bulging muscles and leopard skin costumes.
He was unique. His look was unique, his
connection with the fans was unique - so much so that, unlike Billy Graham
a few years earlier, the fans successfully convinced McMahon to turn him
baby face ahead of schedule.
Cons
It's the same old story - Snuka was a heavy
drug user and it made him unreliable and uncontrolable. There is a reason
he didn't have a match at the first Wrestlemania - McMahon didn't want
anything screwing up his biggest ever show and Snuka was thought most
likely to mess up.
With hindsight we can see how quickly he
burned out. From becoming a superstar in 1982 he was done by 1985. He took
drugs, burned bridges and got into trouble with the law.
His body may have been impressive but his
face told the true story - Snuka was much older than people thought he
was. Certainly not someone for the long term even if you didn't know how
close he was to burn out by 1983.
He either couldn't talk or wouldn't talk
because of his Islander gimmick. A champion needed to be able to talk
people into buying tickets in an era where he rarely wrestled on
television. Snuka got by as a heel by using managers and then as a face
with brief interviews and Buddy Rogers as his adviser but he wasn't the
kind of guy who could go on Letterman and sell Wrestlemania to the public.
Verdict – Obviously it wouldn't have
worked with the knowledge we have now but at the time it would probably
have seemed like a good idea. With less exposure of the top guys it
would've been possible to hide Snuka's weaknesses and play up his
strengths. But the pressures of being a centre of attention were too much
for him and Hogan's insane schedule would probably have killed him. 5/10
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper
Pros
Piper was an awesomely charismatic
performer. He had a presence about him that few had and could get
everyone's attention without having to do anything.
Back then he would've been a great public
relations man - he was funny and engaging and had the ability to look and
sound like a "wrestler" or a "normal person" depending on what was needed
(much as the Rock does today).
He was a fantastic promo guy and could draw
just by talking. Unlike so many stars of that era Piper had so many gears
when doing interviews. He could be slow and chilling, fast and manic,
quick and funny. He was far less one-dimensional than Hogan.
He was a proven draw for Jim Crocket
promotions and Vince obviously thought he could do the same for the WWF.
Originally brought in to be Paul Orndorff's manager, Piper so impressed
McMahon that he was promoted to a main event feud with Hogan.
Piper was one of the few performers who was
equally successful and comfortable as a heel or a face. Though McMahon was
obviously looking for a babyface champion, the idea that a heel turn could
draw big money down the line would've been a big advantage.
Cons
Piper was small.
Traditionally this was a good thing for a headliner (being smaller than
your opponents to create the idea that you are fighting against the odds)
but McMahon begged to differ.
Piper refused to
job. McMahon naturally didn't want a champion who was doing jobs but he
needed to be sure that, when the time came, his champion would do what
McMahon felt was right for business. Piper wouldn't lose to Hulk Hogan
when Hogan was at his peak of power. That says something about just how
stubborn he was.
He wasn't
American. He wasn't Scottish either despite the gimmick. In Reagan's
America they wanted an all American hero to fight the country's enemies -
the Russians, the Iranians and whoever else got in the way.
He wasn't much in
the ring. That didn't really matter as neither was Hogan but if anything
Piper was even less versatile than the Hulkster.
Verdict – Vince was bringing in
anyone and everyone to wrestle for his company. From Bruno's green as
grass son to aging legends who might get a brief nostalgia pop. He didn't
bring Piper in to wrestle - he brought him to manage, talk and host an
interview segment. This was fresh off Starrcade 83 where he worked the
highest profile match of his career to date. Vince obviously didn't see
anything in Piper until months later. It may well have been a successful
move to put the belt on him and it would certainly have produced a very
different WWF. Of all the people under consideration, Piper would be the
one I wish would've been given the spot. It would've been wild. But it was
never going to happen. 2/10
To be continued...
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