The Royal Rumble 2008

The Royal Rumble is traditionally WWE’s second biggest show of the year. It’s the gimmick match they’ve always managed to keep strong (even with joke winners, reversals, stips not being honoured etc) and not only does it start the road to Wrestlemania, it usually draws the second highest buyrate after Mania as well. WWE guarantee themselves two strong business quarters with the Christmas merchandise rush in Q4 and then the two big PPVs in Q1. Then they can blame the summer for the downturn even though they’ve usually just run out of ideas. Here is the 2008 Rumble show in 30 every-man-for-themselves chunks.

  1. The opening segment was weird – normally they do big voiceovers, sinister dialogue and angle recaps. This time they just showed generic footage of the wrestlers and of New York City. Maybe this was because the angles hadn’t been shot in HD and they wanted an all new HD open.

  2. There was no huge set – MSG is a weird arena because the main entrance is opposite the hard camera. They can overcome this for TV but only by losing almost a quarter of the capacity – I guess they felt that 5,000 PPV tickets were worth more than an elaborate entrance.

  3. Although I can’t watch the show in HD I do like that they’ve moved to the new format. For one thing it meant 16:9 WWE at last instead of 4:3 and I have a vague idea that the standard definition picture is better because they no longer use rubbish old NTSC.

  4. Opening with Ric Flair was an interesting choice. Royal Rumble undercards don’t tent to have as much filler (yeah, right) so it wasn’t a snub on Naitch.

  5. His promo was heart felt – this will almost certainly be his last match at MSG and while, as a WCW performer for most of his career, it was never his "home" arena, it means something to everyone in the business to work at the Garden.

  6. I don’t watch the TV so I haven’t seen much of MVP. I know people talk highly of him these days – he was just this guy with a decent (but unspectacular) look who came up too early from developmental but he’s worked hard, he was mentored by the guy we don’t mention any more and has become a very good all round performer. I still don’t get his look (Power Ranger?) but he carries himself like a star and can back it up in the ring.

  7. It was nice to see someone tap to Flair’s figure four leg lock. The problem with Flair’s current storyline is that he has to win or he’s fired but Vince McMahon doesn’t want him beating any of the top guys because that might hurt their credibility. Fortunately, there are guys like MVP who see it as an honour to lose to Ric Flair and are more than happy to tap to his hold rather than slip on a banana skin and lose on a fluke.

  8. There was a dressing room scene with Flair, Hunter, HBK and Batista which I found laugh-out-loud funny. It was strange too because Hunter and Batista were portrayed as the "grown ups" while Michaels (who is older than either of them) was the comedy little brother character. And Flair was wearing nothing but a towel. In HD. I’m glad I don’t get HD.

  9. Vince had a chat with the midget. I can’t believe they’re still doing this storyline. It must be close to six months now. It’s like American Pie 5 and they’ve long since run out of flute jokes.

  10. Not watching the TV shows means I have missed out of the subtleties of the Edge-Rey-Vicki storyline but I picked up enough to know that they’re still implicitly using Eddie. I think their plan is to keep doing it until enough time has passed since his death for it to be fine.

  11. Lots of highlight packages on the history of the Royal Rumble match. We found out that over 560 men (and 1 woman) have been in the Royal Rumble over the years. Amazingly, they didn’t follow that up with how many of them have since died. I’m guessing around one in ten.

  12. Naturally no mention of Chris Benoit winning a Rumble or that he was one of the two who won it from number 1.

  13. What was up with JBL? I was one of the few who liked him during his title run. His character was a smarmy blend of JR Ewing and Dory Funk Jr and everything about it worked. John Leyfield was transformed from a midcard tag team bully to a heel world champion who carried the ball for months. Now he’s back and he’s doing something different. I don’t know if he’s trying to look insane (like Randy Orton) as if he’s back in the ring because he’s snapped. If so he should stop it. He looks vacant – like a dumb hick who can’t work out why carriages are moving without horses.

  14. The match had a cheap finish – it had to because they want more matches out of it. Which I’m fine with – they didn’t just do a cheap DQ – they shot a powerful angle and if you’re going to do a non-conclusive finish, you should always aim to do one which makes people more interested in seeing the match again rather than less interested. Job done.

  15. The new guy they had standing in the crowd was less bland than most of the guys they hire to talk for them. He got Jeff Hardy’s name wrong but it was his first day. I like him.

  16. Speaking of bland announcers, is it me or has Coach become just another bland babyface guy since becoming co-host of Smackdown? There was nothing in his commentary on this show to suggest it was the same man who has played a heel on TV for the past few years. But obviously his heel persona was the only thing entertaining about Coachman so naturally it had to go. We wouldn’t want people entertained would we?

  17. Orton vs Hardy didn’t surprise me. Like most of the undercard I watched it at 4x and it looked like a typical match. It was there, it filled time, it annoyed people, it achieved nothing. Job done. Hardy was never going to win as we can’t have the fans dictating company direction now can we?

  18. Michael Buffer. I never thought I’d see him on WWE television. Or hoped at any rate. Bruce Buffer I could’ve accepted as WWE and UFC have something going on in the build up to Lesnar vs Mir but Michael? He’s famous for speaking loudly. Like Mr Kennedy but without the self-awareness. And he will bang on – yes they’re paying him six figures to talk loudly but does he really have to speak for two or three minutes on a subject he patently doesn’t know or care about? Don’t give him hyperbole to justify how much you’re paying him. Better still, don’t pay him. Especially as they didn’t pay him enough to say "Let’s get ready to Royal Rumble". That would’ve been good. His price must’ve been too high as he’s modified the spiel before.

  19. The second the Undertaker’s gong sounded I – and probably everyone else at home – immediately said "Right – Trips is winning". Going in there were only two guys that stood any chance – Hunter and Taker and there is no way Taker is going the full hour from 1 to victory.

  20. Here’s an interesting lesson in company politics. Santino comes out third – he’s the most entertaining guy in the company. He’s tossed out within a minute. Next is Great Khali – the biggest man in the company and someone who could be intriguing in the Rumble match because they could hide his weaknesses in the chaos. He lasted a minute before being eliminated. Next out is Bob Holly – a man who is neither entertaining nor marketable. He held his own and stayed in the match for 20 minutes or more. Being a company guy with tenure and friends in fairly high places is worth so much more than anything those other two have got.

  21. Having 6 guys announcing actually worked because they didn’t make them compete along brand lines as they have before. Bickering – for an hour or more – gets very tedious. This way worked because they shared the load and, like good announcing, you never really noticed it until they spots they wanted you to notice.

  22. Jimmy Snuka as the first surprise was a nice touch even if they didn’t really say anything about his famous nights in Madison Square Garden. Those two cage dives are still talked about 25 years later but the only think they mentioned was his Piper’s Pit appearance.

  23. He went round the ring head butting people and they all seemed happy to sell for him. They missed the chance to have him head butt Umaga as he could’ve no-sold it and they could’ve worked a spot from it.

  24. Piper was another big surprise and the crowd were delighted to see him. Until he took his shirt off. I know he’s had health problems but ye gods – keep your shirt on, Roddy.

  25. Hornswoggle hiding under the ring and popping out for high jinks was one of those ideas which probably wouldn’t have worked if they’d done it properly so it comes as no surprise that it really didn’t work in the half-hearted way they did it. I think he popped out twice and didn’t do much.

  26. Finlay was DQd which might be unique in Royal Rumble history.

  27. Ditto Hornswoggle not technically being eliminated. Whether it was an oversight or the beginnings of an angle (Hornswoggle vs Cena?!?) I don’t know.

  28. When Trips came in at number 29 I counted the people left in the ring. They’d been going on all night about Kane’s eliminations record and I think there were just enough people in the ring (plus the one yet to come) for him to break that record en route to victory. It’s the sort of thing Hunter would want to do.

  29. I’m so out of touch with WWE that I didn’t recognise most of the entrance music when it started. Even John Cena’s music took a moment to register. His appearance was a surprise to say the least (he was supposed to be three months away from fitness) but I was happy for it.

  30. Even more so when he won the damn thing. Anything but Triple H. Cena may not be the greatest wrestler in the world (but still good enough to win the Observer award for 2007) but I’d rather have him on top than Trips any day. There is a boringness to Hunter which you don’t get with Cena. He’s a better worker but he just doesn’t have the same "it".

I watched the undercard on fast forward and the Rumble in real time. It was a reasonably enjoyable show but for me (and others) there is absolutely no buzz about WWE. I cannot imagine any circumstances in which I would pay to watch one of their shows. Unlike UFC where they have fights I’d hand over cash to watch. Such as Lesnar vs Mir which is only days away. UFC has redefined expectation at a time when WWE are running on ego and auto-pilot.