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The opening
segment was weird – normally they do big voiceovers, sinister dialogue
and angle recaps. This time they just showed generic footage of the
wrestlers and of New York City. Maybe this was because the angles hadn’t
been shot in HD and they wanted an all new HD open.
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There was no
huge set – MSG is a weird arena because the main entrance is opposite
the hard camera. They can overcome this for TV but only by losing almost
a quarter of the capacity – I guess they felt that 5,000 PPV tickets
were worth more than an elaborate entrance.
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Although I
can’t watch the show in HD I do like that they’ve moved to the new
format. For one thing it meant 16:9 WWE at last instead of 4:3 and I
have a vague idea that the standard definition picture is better because
they no longer use rubbish old NTSC.
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Opening with
Ric Flair was an interesting choice. Royal Rumble undercards don’t tent
to have as much filler (yeah, right) so it wasn’t a snub on Naitch.
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His promo was
heart felt – this will almost certainly be his last match at MSG and
while, as a WCW performer for most of his career, it was never his
"home" arena, it means something to everyone in the business to work at
the Garden.
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I don’t watch
the TV so I haven’t seen much of MVP. I know people talk highly of him
these days – he was just this guy with a decent (but unspectacular) look
who came up too early from developmental but he’s worked hard, he was
mentored by the guy we don’t mention any more and has become a very good
all round performer. I still don’t get his look (Power Ranger?) but he
carries himself like a star and can back it up in the ring.
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It was nice to
see someone tap to Flair’s figure four leg lock. The problem with
Flair’s current storyline is that he has to win or he’s fired but Vince
McMahon doesn’t want him beating any of the top guys because that might
hurt their credibility. Fortunately, there are guys like MVP who see it
as an honour to lose to Ric Flair and are more than happy to tap to his
hold rather than slip on a banana skin and lose on a fluke.
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There was a
dressing room scene with Flair, Hunter, HBK and Batista which I found
laugh-out-loud funny. It was strange too because Hunter and Batista were
portrayed as the "grown ups" while Michaels (who is older than either of
them) was the comedy little brother character. And Flair was wearing
nothing but a towel. In HD. I’m glad I don’t get HD.
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Vince had a
chat with the midget. I can’t believe they’re still doing this
storyline. It must be close to six months now. It’s like American Pie 5
and they’ve long since run out of flute jokes.
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Not watching
the TV shows means I have missed out of the subtleties of the Edge-Rey-Vicki
storyline but I picked up enough to know that they’re still implicitly
using Eddie. I think their plan is to keep doing it until enough time
has passed since his death for it to be fine.
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Lots of
highlight packages on the history of the Royal Rumble match. We found
out that over 560 men (and 1 woman) have been in the Royal Rumble over
the years. Amazingly, they didn’t follow that up with how many of them
have since died. I’m guessing around one in ten.
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Naturally no
mention of Chris Benoit winning a Rumble or that he was one of the two
who won it from number 1.
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What was up
with JBL? I was one of the few who liked him during his title run. His
character was a smarmy blend of JR Ewing and Dory Funk Jr and everything
about it worked. John Leyfield was transformed from a midcard tag team
bully to a heel world champion who carried the ball for months. Now he’s
back and he’s doing something different. I don’t know if he’s trying to
look insane (like Randy Orton) as if he’s back in the ring because he’s
snapped. If so he should stop it. He looks vacant – like a dumb hick who
can’t work out why carriages are moving without horses.
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The match had a
cheap finish – it had to because they want more matches out of it. Which
I’m fine with – they didn’t just do a cheap DQ – they shot a powerful
angle and if you’re going to do a non-conclusive finish, you should
always aim to do one which makes people more interested in seeing the
match again rather than less interested. Job done.
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The new guy
they had standing in the crowd was less bland than most of the guys they
hire to talk for them. He got Jeff Hardy’s name wrong but it was his
first day. I like him.
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Speaking of
bland announcers, is it me or has Coach become just another bland
babyface guy since becoming co-host of Smackdown? There was nothing in
his commentary on this show to suggest it was the same man who has
played a heel on TV for the past few years. But obviously his heel
persona was the only thing entertaining about Coachman so naturally it
had to go. We wouldn’t want people entertained would we?
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Orton vs Hardy
didn’t surprise me. Like most of the undercard I watched it at 4x and it
looked like a typical match. It was there, it filled time, it annoyed
people, it achieved nothing. Job done. Hardy was never going to win as
we can’t have the fans dictating company direction now can we?
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Michael Buffer.
I never thought I’d see him on WWE television. Or hoped at any rate.
Bruce Buffer I could’ve accepted as WWE and UFC have something going on
in the build up to Lesnar vs Mir but Michael? He’s famous for speaking
loudly. Like Mr Kennedy but without the self-awareness. And he will bang
on – yes they’re paying him six figures to talk loudly but does he
really have to speak for two or three minutes on a subject he patently
doesn’t know or care about? Don’t give him hyperbole to justify how much
you’re paying him. Better still, don’t pay him. Especially as they
didn’t pay him enough to say "Let’s get ready to Royal Rumble".
That would’ve been good. His price must’ve been too high as he’s
modified the spiel before.
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The second the
Undertaker’s gong sounded I – and probably everyone else at home –
immediately said "Right – Trips is winning". Going in there were only
two guys that stood any chance – Hunter and Taker and there is no way
Taker is going the full hour from 1 to victory.
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Here’s an
interesting lesson in company politics. Santino comes out third – he’s
the most entertaining guy in the company. He’s tossed out within a
minute. Next is Great Khali – the biggest man in the company and someone
who could be intriguing in the Rumble match because they could hide his
weaknesses in the chaos. He lasted a minute before being eliminated.
Next out is Bob Holly – a man who is neither entertaining nor
marketable. He held his own and stayed in the match for 20 minutes or
more. Being a company guy with tenure and friends in fairly high places
is worth so much more than anything those other two have got.
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Having 6 guys
announcing actually worked because they didn’t make them compete along
brand lines as they have before. Bickering – for an hour or more – gets
very tedious. This way worked because they shared the load and, like
good announcing, you never really noticed it until they spots they
wanted you to notice.
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Jimmy Snuka as
the first surprise was a nice touch even if they didn’t really say
anything about his famous nights in Madison Square Garden. Those two
cage dives are still talked about 25 years later but the only think they
mentioned was his Piper’s Pit appearance.
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He went round
the ring head butting people and they all seemed happy to sell for him.
They missed the chance to have him head butt Umaga as he could’ve
no-sold it and they could’ve worked a spot from it.
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Piper was
another big surprise and the crowd were delighted to see him. Until he
took his shirt off. I know he’s had health problems but ye gods – keep
your shirt on, Roddy.
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Hornswoggle
hiding under the ring and popping out for high jinks was one of those
ideas which probably wouldn’t have worked if they’d done it properly so
it comes as no surprise that it really didn’t work in the half-hearted
way they did it. I think he popped out twice and didn’t do much.
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Finlay was DQd
which might be unique in Royal Rumble history.
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Ditto
Hornswoggle not technically being eliminated. Whether it was an
oversight or the beginnings of an angle (Hornswoggle vs Cena?!?) I don’t
know.
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When Trips came
in at number 29 I counted the people left in the ring. They’d been going
on all night about Kane’s eliminations record and I think there were
just enough people in the ring (plus the one yet to come) for him to
break that record en route to victory. It’s the sort of thing Hunter
would want to do.
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I’m so out of
touch with WWE that I didn’t recognise most of the entrance music when
it started. Even John Cena’s music took a moment to register. His
appearance was a surprise to say the least (he was supposed to be three
months away from fitness) but I was happy for it.
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Even more so
when he won the damn thing. Anything but Triple H. Cena may not be the
greatest wrestler in the world (but still good enough to win the
Observer award for 2007) but I’d rather have him on top than Trips any
day. There is a boringness to Hunter which you don’t get with Cena. He’s
a better worker but he just doesn’t have the same "it".
